


Shot through the heart (and you are to blame)

by Linaloe



Series: You were born to be my baby [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, M/M, Minor Lúcio Correia dos Santos/Genji Shimada, Noodle Dragons, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Protective Siblings, Soulmates, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-02 16:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16308749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linaloe/pseuds/Linaloe
Summary: There, on the upper part, he had a new tattoo.No. A soulmark.“Who?” he croaked, not expecting an answer.The dragons looked at him, and mimed finger-guns with their claws.Hanzo looked down at his shoulder, his heart skipping a beat in his chest and the blood leaving his face.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my other fic. Instead, I started working on this!
> 
> I need to thank [Spin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PersonalSpin/) for the idea! there was a little chat on Discord about soulmates and the different styles we had read, and they mentioned something about touching someone and a tattoo appearing if they were your soulmate, so I had to write this <3.
> 
> Also, thanks to [BookWorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm83197/) for being kind enough to beta read this chapter! <3 They pointed a few grammar mistakes I tend to do, and I hope to work on them when editing the next chapters :)
> 
> And of course [StarsandSkies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luastardust/) for reading and supporting my nonsense, and helping me choose the title of this fic <3
> 
> As always, if there is something not tagged but that you consider needs a tag, please let me know so I can add it!

“Ey, Genji!”

Genji turned around, finding the cowboy approaching him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He raised an eyebrow when Jesse stopped at his side.

“So, huh, just a quick question,” Jesse said, playing with the brim of his hat. “D’you know where your brother is hidin’? Reckon I haven’t seen him around in a few days, and I know Winston hasn’t sent him on a mission.”

Genji knew McCree well enough to recognize the worry hidden in his fake nonchalant tone. Still, he couldn’t help frowning at him. “Hm. What did you do now? If he is avoiding you because you did or said something--”

“What? No!” Jesse interrupted him, raising his hands placatingly. “Everythin’ seemed fine, and suddenly he just vanished into thin air.” He sighed when Genji narrowed his eyes at him. “Do you know where he is or not?”

“If you can’t find him he might have his reasons. And I’m not going to question them,” Genji stopped Jesse with a raised hand when the cowboy opened his mouth to argue. “He will speak to you when he wants to. Let him be, McCree. Maybe he got overwhelmed, spirits know he loves his solitude and the silence.”

Genji saw McCree fight against his desire to insist, finally accepting his words with a slump of his shoulders. “Alright,” he sighed, turning back to the door leading to the base. He paused and looked back at Genji over his shoulder after a few steps, “Just, if you happen to see him, wouldya pull his head outta his ass and tell him to hurry up? I kinda miss my drinkin’ partner. Sittin’ alone on the roof is becomin’ sad.”

Genji snorted at the retreating figure of the cowboy. Only when the doors had closed behind him did he looked up to the dark catwalk above him. “Hanzo,” he called, sensing more than seeing the hidden figure crouched on the corner of the platform. “I don’t know what happened, brother, but if you want to talk, you know where to find me.”

He waited for a moment, deciding to go back inside when he received no answer. He knew Hanzo needed his time to think over what was eating him, and that if he insisted on getting an answer his brother would only close himself up or reject him with a vicious answer, but if given time he would end up looking for him.

It had taken a lot of arguments and fights since his brother had arrived at Overwatch but they had managed to talk through and solve some problems and rebuild their relationship, so it saddened him deeply to see his brother going back to that stage where he refused to talk to anyone and avoided the team as often as he could. Still, he hoped Hanzo would ask for his help when the right time came.

 

Hanzo watched his brother leave, closing his eyes and feeling the cold night wind biting his face, the sleeves of his gi flapping softly at his sides. Winter had finally arrived at Gibraltar, and he had started to wear his thicker gi’s over his casual clothes to counteract the cold and the dampness of the base’s exterior.

He lost track of time listening the waves of the ocean hitting the rocks somewhere below his position, his ears and nose turning numb after spending so long outdoors. Gradually his lethargic state calmed his inner turmoil and racing heartbeat. He had almost relaxed completely when he felt the mark on his right shoulder pulse under his skin, making him hiss through his teeth.

He opened his eyes when he felt two gentle pairs of claws touch his hands in his lap, finding Udon and Soba looking up at him in their smaller forms, their scaley faces furrowed with worried frowns.

Hanzo knew they felt it as well, raising his hand to touch the soul mark under the sleeve. Bile rose up his throat, his hand clenching around his shoulder and his lips tightening when he felt another hot pulse. A pang of pain and grief filled his chest, the dragons chirping and trying to climb to hug him.

A soulmate. What a twisted joke that he had one.

Because of course he would get paired with someone that didn’t like him to begin with.

 

* * *

 

Soulmates. According to the fairytales and romantic novels and movies, you could find yours by chance. A simple, meaningless touch could reveal the partner, or partners, that were meant for you to love and be loved by, to understand and compliment you like no other, instant love blooming between people and filling their empty hearts, living happily ever after.

Hanzo had learned at a young age that that was just bullshit. Having a soulmate didn’t mean you “were meant to be together”. The Spirits, God, or whatever force that ruled the universe was just sending a signal that those marked were compatible in some way, with a high chance of being able to love each other, but that didn’t always happen.

The only part that was real in those sugary movies was the soulmarks. Your thoughts and impressions about the person touching you were what determined the design of the mark, which meant sometimes it adapted an abstract shape to express the emotions the person being touched felt for their partner.

Strangers touching each other didn’t trigger the magic that formed the soulmark on their skin, they needed to know each other. People tended to wear clothes or gloves that covered their skin to avoid the uncomfortable situation of discovering that someone you knew but weren’t interested in carried your mark now.

The bond could be broken and the mark erased by doctors specialized in such things. Hanzo had known of relatives that had dragged their spawn to the family doctor to break an unwanted bond because the teenager had been messing with a friend and triggered it, threatening to ruin their plans of bonding them with a more powerful partner to reinforce their status.

Hanzo’s parents had been bonded, but hadn’t loved each other. They had been a powerful couple leading the clan, their strategic, cunning minds matching each other perfectly to raise the status of their family. Hanzo had wanted to believe, when he was younger, that they had at least developed a friendship, especially seeing his father mourn their mother after her death, stroking the dull, colorless mark on his forearm, gazing listlessly out the window.

They had raised Genji and Hanzo the same way they were raised, forbidden to touch anyone the clan and the Elders hadn’t approved. Forced to spend their summers until they reached their adulthood meeting the sons and daughters of any important family that could help reinforce and improve the clan position in society, so when the time would come they could touch each other and see if the soulmark appeared.

Nothing mattered more than strengthening their bloodline, wanting to feed the timeless magic that allowed them to bond ancient dragon spirits to their heirs.

Luckily for them neither of the long string of heirs triggered a soulmark, to the Elders frustration. Angered, they demanded even more from them, forcing Hanzo to follow his father steps, trying to compel a bond with people he despised, and making him keeping an eye on his rebellious brother. Genji, tired of the clan, had decided to disobey their orders and spent night after night in clubs, touching and fucking people just to see if he could trigger the mark in someone the clan didn’t approve of.

The Elders ordered his death before he could bring any disgrace upon the clan. And Hanzo had blindly obeyed.

Only when his hands were covered with his brother’s blood did he realize what he had done, running away and abandoning the clan.

He had spent ten years since that night loaded with grief and regret, working as a mercenary trying to clean his past by taking care of warlords and people abusing their power, killing the assassins the clan sent after him from time to time.

Ten years never spending more than a month in the same place, avoiding people and relationships as often as he could. Always wearing long sleeves and gloves, because if there was something a murderer like himself didn’t deserve, it was a soulmate. Not like he even wanted one. One of his nightmares was being forced to bond with someone that didn’t like him but wanted to take advantage of him, of his name. He didn’t want what his parents had.

It was in the last of his yearly visits to his old home in Hanamura, where he stealthily infiltrated the familiar halls and rooms of his childhood to pay his respects to his dead brother, when he found Genji didn’t die. The man in front of him was very different from the one in his memories, changed not only physically, but appearing wiser, calmer, older, convincing him to travel to Gibraltar to join a dismantled organization and to work with him for the greater good.

 

His arrival at the base had not been easy, everyone wary of his presence because of his past and what he did to his own brother, something he had understood and accepted. He had spent ten years of his life grieving for his dead brother; if being rejected and watched was what he had to go through to have Genji back, he was willing to pay that price.

He had avoided the rest of the team as much as he could, knowing his presence was not welcome. He ate at different hours so as not to cause discomfort, and trained out on the cliffs under the AI’s drone vigilance, accepting the fact that, whenever he talked with his brother there was going to always be someone close, watching him. He developed a habit of moving slower and calmer around Genji, even when his brother showed only openness towards him.

To his surprise it had been Lúcio, one of the doctors of the base, to approach him first. He had watched astonished how the smaller man, unwarily, asked for his help moving some boxes to the storage room. He had complied with a nod, listening to the other man talk about the songs he was working on, his excitement about going on missions to help people, and asking questions about his abilities.

Hanzo felt overwhelmed by his enthusiastic personality, but felt weirdly serene knowing Athena, the resident AI, was watching them through the cameras.

Lúcio hadn’t stopped there. He started to find him casually more often around the base, asking for his help or just wanting to talk. Everytime Hanzo complied because he had noticed Genji was happier during their meetings afterwards, remarking it pleased him that he had started to come out of his shell, even if it was with only one of his teammates.

It had surprised even more when, one day, it was not Lúcio but Hana and Mei who approached him. He didn’t even remember what they had asked him, but suddenly his silent walks were filled with their chatter and questions, claiming they hadn’t dared to take the paths around the cliffs on their own because they were afraid of heights. Hanzo didn’t know what to do with that information, watching relieved that one of Athena’s drones always flew behind them in what became a routine for them, taking a walk in the evening before the sun set.

He grew suspicious of everyone’s sudden interest in being around him. Perhaps the AI’s vigilance was not enough to grant his brother’s safety? Even Jack Morrison, ex-Commander of the organization, invited him to the training room one day to test his skills and compare them with Captain Amari.

Not everyone showed such interest though. Jesse McCree, ex-black ops agent, current bounty hunter and one of Genji’s older friends in Blackwatch, had looked at him with narrowed eyes the day he had arrived, stating his distrust with a veiled threat before leaving the room.

“I’ll be watchin’ you, archer.”

McCree had been the one that spent more time around whenever his brother wanted to talk to him, a silent figure throwing daggers at him from under his hat. Hanzo knew he deserved nothing less than such mistrust after what he had done to his brother, and if having a constant chaperone observing every one of his moves was what he had to pay, he would do so willingly.

Genji had shown his annoyance with the gunslinger’s behavior more than once, only stopping his diatribe when Hanzo had raised his voice to say that it was no trouble having him around.

Hence the utter astonishment and disbelief when one day, after his morning meditation with Genji behind the radar array, the cowboy stopped at his side and, clearing his throat, asked Hanzo if he would accompany him to the training room, curious to see himself what he could do with his bow.

Hanzo could do nothing but admire his actings skills, undoubtedly acquired during his undercover missions, because he observed surprised how McCree avoided his eyes pretending to be ashamed when he didn’t answer immediately.

He had started to believe the rest of the team’s openness towards him was honest, convincing him to join them for lunch and even one of Hana’s videogames marathons. Lúcio had insisted he wanted to learn to play go and wanted Hanzo to teach him, and Genji, after physically dragging him to the gym, had persuaded him to train together like they used to do in their youth. But McCree?

Hanzo was sure he only wanted to keep an eye on him more closely, especially now that he had started to fight with Genji. It made sense, he would have done the same if he had been in McCree’s position. Leaving the person that had attempted to assassinate his own kin alone was reckless. If the cowboy wanted to monitor his movements closely, he was not going to oppose him. Anything to stay with his brother.

So Hanzo had agreed. That time, and any other the cowboy asked him for his company in the training room, or the common room, or whatever place McCree fancied in that moment. Answering his questions about Hanzo’s youth, his family, their traditions. Informing him of what he had done the last ten years of his life, where he had been, who had he killed. Showing him his skills with his bow, climbing buildings, and any other request the cowboy had. Anything to be allowed time with Genji.

McCree even shared information about himself, surely wanting to make his supposed newfound trust in him more reliable. Hanzo could only admire his commitment to his role of vigilante, because against his better judgement he started to enjoy their time together, even asking questions of his own despite knowing it was only a facade.

He paid attention to how McCree behaved around the team, and if Hanzo learned anything it was that people liked him, a joke or flirty remark ready on his lips for anyone on the team (Hanzo would never forget the time he did so with the ex-Commander, hiding a chuckle himself at the man’s dumbfounded expression). Always willing to help, a compliment when they did well while training, advice when they didn’t to help them improve. The first to volunteer to leave the base to go to town and run errands, claiming he wanted to drive for a while.

What an easier lie to maintain than treating him as if he belonged there?

 

* * *

  
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. His relationship with his brother was strengthening after talking openly about their past, their days around the base filled with work and short missions against Talon. The team worked well together, Hanzo quickly assuming his role of protecting them from the heights, warning them when danger approached their position, the gunslinger even complimenting him after the work was done with the same flirtations he used with the rest of his friends.

Everything was going fine, until the night he got his mark.

The way he’d gotten it had been so stupid.

Lúcio had convinced him, after some persistent pestering, to let him do something with his appearance. The DJ was, in his own words, “tired of your boring look.”

His brother had agreed a change would be good, remarking that the weather was getting colder and he needed warmer clothes anyway. After spending a few hours in their company he ended up with a new modern, casual change of clothes and a fresh undercut. He appreciated that Lúcio never tried to touch him while passing him shirts to try on in the store, always keeping a respectful distance.

Still, he noticed the way he moved around his brother, and the way Genji looked back at him when he thought no one was paying him attention. Hanzo wasn’t sure if something was going on between them, but he was glad that his brother had someone he cared so much about in his life. Still he couldn’t help the sadness that filled his chest when seeing them dancing around each other, joking and, if he didn’t read the situation wrong, flirting.

 

McCree found him in “their” spot, as the cowboy called the corner of the comm tower’s roof where they usually went to drink at night. Wanting to enjoy the late autumn night, Hanzo had dressed in one of his new tank tops ignoring the fresher wind and the goosebumps it raised on his naked arms.

The gunslinger appeared at his side after he had already gulped down half a gourd of sake.

“So here is where you were hi-- holy shit!”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow at him, Udon and Soba staring unamused at the astonished cowboy.

“Darlin’, what happened to your hair? And the clothes? And you have two dragons!”

“I noticed, but thanks for reminding me,” he slurred before drinking again from his bottle.

“Ey, don’t sass me.” McCree approached them slowly, the spirits observing him from their positions in his lap and on his shoulder. “Do they have names?”

“Udon,” who flapped his small ears, “and Soba.” She chirped.

The cowboy looked at him before releasing a burst of laughter. “You two can’t deny you are brothers, sweetheart.”

It took a few seconds before Hanzo understood what he meant. “You have seen Ramen?”

“Yeah, I know that small noodle too,” the cowboy chuckled.

“Of course you do,” Hanzo mumbled into his gourd, a sudden wave of anger painting his words with resentment.

He had been in a bad mood since they had returned to the base, and knowing it was unfair to his brother to be that upset because of what he had seen he had decided to grab his sake and spend the rest of the night alone. He suspected he was jealous, not because he felt anything for Lúcio, but perhaps because Genji had been able to move on with his life and he… hadn’t. Because he didn’t deserve it. A murderer would always be a murderer. Being forgiven and loved was not something an assassin was worthy of, no matter how many times his brother said it.

And what he didn’t deserve either was to feel what he was feeling, a mix of sentiments filling him with anxiety and clenching around his chest. So he decided to drown them with alcohol.  
  
“How long have you been here, partner?”

 _I am not your partner_ , a vicious thought coated in his old self-pride crossed his mind. “A while,” he said. The last thing he wanted to deal with in such a state was the cowboy. He accepted his vigilance without protest, but that night he just wanted to be alone.

“I see. Y’know, considering how empty that bottle sound,” McCree pointed at his gourd, “and how unfriendly you seem to be, I think it’d be best to call it a night. How about you go inside? It’s almost completely dark, I can only see you because they are shinin’.”  
  
Hanzo saw McCree’s silhouette point at his dragons.

“You are not the boss of me,” he argued, holding Udon against his chest but getting up anyways, feeling Soba’s claws hold onto his tank top to keep from falling.

“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that, sweetheart.”

McCree said that with a joking tone, but the idea of the gunslinger telling it as a veiled threat, close to recognizing his friendly attitude was a facade, stuck in Hanzo’s brain and made him stumble on his feet before a warm hand in his right arm helped to stabilize him.

“You are lucky I found you, you are clearly more drunk than you thought, darlin’,” McCree chuckled behind him, releasing him when he was sure Hanzo would walk on his own.

“Hn. It would have been better for you if I had fallen down there, I am sure,” Hanzo said darkly, pointing with his thumb at the rocks and the ocean below the edge where he had been sitting, walking towards the illuminated door leading to the base.

“Ey, you don’t joke about that kinda stuff,” the gunslinger protested, following him. “I dunno what bit you tonight, but I’m taking this,” McCree pulled out the gourd off his left hand, ignoring his protest, “and I’m makin’ sure you arrive safely at your room. Don’t argue, and keep walkin’.”

 _There, the true face under all his fake kindness, moving the prisoner back to the cell_.

Hanzo kept silent the rest of the walk, placing his hand on the scanner beside his door to open it. He closed it behind him as soon as he had stepped inside.

“Wow, rude! Good night to you too, sweetheart,” McCree grunted on the other side.

Hanzo ignored it, removing his shoes with his feet and going to fall face first in his bed, the dragons walking over him pricking his back with their claws.

He fell asleep before he heard the cowboy’s spurs jingle away, the alcohol in his system doing its magic.

 

* * *

 

Next day Hanzo dragged his feet towards the bathroom with the taste of something dead in his mouth and a ball of cotton in place of his brain, a pounding headache making him close his eyes to avoid the morning light.

The dragons followed him, chirping and poking at his legs. He ignored them; washing his face with cold water and gulping down some ibuprofen was more important.

His eyes widened in terror when he caught his reflection in the mirror, freezing him. Slowly he spinned to see better what he had seen in the corner of the eye, until his right arm was in full display.

There, on the upper part, he had a new tattoo.

No. A soulmark.

He stared at it, not fully comprehending what he was seeing. A splash of vivid colors adorned his deltoid, dark red twirling around sprinkles of copper and warm brown, almost vibrating attuned to his soulmate.

His _soulmate_.

He felt his legs tremble beneath him, letting his weight fall against the wall and sliding down to the floor where Udon and Soba were waiting to jump on his legs.

“Who?” he croaked, not expecting an answer.

The dragons looked at him, and mimed finger-guns with their claws.

Guns.

McCree.

He looked down at his shoulder, his heart skipping a beat in his chest and the blood leaving his face.

 _McCree_. What? How?!? When did that happen? Glaring at the mark, the memory of a warm hand in his shoulder appeared out of nowhere, making his heart skip a beat.

No. no, no, no. it wasn’t possible. McCree? He always had his glove on. Why hadn’t he had his glove on?

A chuckle bubbled from his throat, turning into an hysterical laugh that pulled the air out of his lungs.

His mind spiraled into his darkest thoughts when, after a while, his laugh died and he had calmed down his breathing.

Had he done it on purpose? To see if he could mark him, to watch him even closer through the bond? It made sense. Why else would he change his behavior and treat Hanzo more nicely?

He opened his eyes with a hiss, not realizing he had closed them, when he felt two pairs of sharpened teeth biting into his hands.

Udon and Soba looked at him with frowns, their size bigger than before, releasing his hands from their bites.

“Why,” he asked tiredly. “Why him. He does not even like me.”

He widened his eyes surprised when both the dragons growled at him. He scoffed.

“What, are you going to tell me that he does? You know the reason why he changed. Someone has to keep an eye on me so Genji is sa-- ouch!” Soba nipped him again.

“Stop it. Bad noodle.” He snorted when they grunted, offended.

“We have nothing in common. He is… honorable,” he frowned. “He fights for the right reasons. He helps his friends, show them his affection. He worries about people. Has a strange sense of humor. Flirts too much.”

Hanzo looked down at the dragons. “He is a good strategist, has planned some good attacks in the training sessions. Perhaps that we do have in common.”

Like his parents’ bond. The perfect team planning their strategies for the Clan’s glory.

The thought sent a wave of nausea through his stomach. He did not want what his parents had, a bond that worked like an oiled machine on the war table, but empty of anything else.

He moved his hands away in time, the dragons biting air instead.

“What do you want? Should I go running to him and confess what has happened?” he asked mockingly, looking dumbfounded at the dragons when they nodded sharply.

“Are you drunk?” he snapped, pushing them away and getting up from the floor

They chirped loudly behind him, grunting when he threw his dirty tank top at them, followed by his pants.

Hanzo entered the shower ignoring their chatty rant. Not only was he marked but the spirits attached to him had gone crazy.

 

* * *

 

Hanzo frowned at the plate in front of him, moving around the food without eating, the rest of the team talking animatedly at another table.

They had said nothing when he had stomped into the kitchen with a clouded expression, though he had felt their eyes glued on him as he wandered around gathering his lunch and going to sit alone.

He cursed again internally, the silly idea the dragons had suggested sticking with him and collecting his attention, stopping him from concentrating on anything else.

“What happened to your hands?”

Hanzo jumped, startled, and looked up to see McCree and his brother sitting in front of him.

“Udon and Soba,” Genji explained, looking behind him at Lúcio’s movements around the kitchen before he joined them as well.

“Oh, man, that looks bad. Here, let me!”

The DJ put his comm in the table, tapping at something. An energetic music came through the small speakers, loud enough for them to hear. Hanzo felt the wounds beginning to heal with a soft itch.

“Thank you,” he nodded, earning a bright smile from Lúcio.

“No problem, man. Where did you put your hands to get those-- oohh, hello! And who are you?”

Lúcio cooed when the dragons suddenly appeared in Hanzo’s shoulders. He looked astonished at how they just wandered around the table, smelling Lúcio, licking his brother’s hand, and stopping in front of McCree.

 _What are you doing_ , he mentally yelled at them, his anger rising when they ignored him.

“Huh. Hello there,” the cowboy said, a questioning eyebrow raised at him before turning to look at the small dragons in front of him. “Darlin’, I don’t want to offend any of you, but… how do you know who is who?”

Lúcio grabbed one of them, staring at their face with a concentrated frown. “This one is Soba.” He giggled when she touched his nose with her snout.

 _Fine. I can play this game too_ , he grunted at them before facing Lúcio. “Yes, that is correct.”

“How?!” McCree asked, lifting Udon from the table and glaring at him, scanning his small face and body. The spirit chirped happily, unbothered at being manhandled.

“I’m the dragon whisperer, man,” Lúcio joked, putting Soba back in the table. Genji snorted at them as Ramen joined the party.

“Ooohh, I’ve never seen your dragons, Hanzo!” Mei exclaimed approaching the table.

“Silence! I’m trying to figure out how Lúcio knew who was Soba,” McCree grunted after releasing Udon, the three dragons sitting together and chirping.

“Uhm. That is Soba,” Mei said pointing at her.

Hanzo snorted at the affronted face McCree pulled. “Yes, she is.”

“Alright. Y’all planned this,” the cowboy pointed a finger at him with a frown.

“Why would I do that?” Hanzo asked with a smirk. McCree’s frown deepened.

“It’s very easy, you just have to pay attention,” Genji shrugged, watching Lúcio play with the dragons and offering them food from his plate after Mei had left, not before patting softly each of them in the head.

Hanzo saw how McCree dragged his dragons in front of him to look at their faces, his eyes jumping between them until a glint of recognition brightened them.

They almost had the same color as the old copper in his soulmark. Perhaps amber?

“You are Soba! And you, Udon,” he said with a satisfied smile in his face, pointing at them correctly, chuckling when they chirped at him. “Your horns are spiraled, miss Soba,” he scratched at her chin, “and yours kinda look like an “U”, little one,” he said at Udon, giving him the same treatment before glancing up.

Hanzo hid his smirk behind his glass of water, the idea he had solidifying and growing. He wasn’t sure what the dragons expected to gain with their behavior, but he would prove them wrong, facing this task like one of his missions: evaluate the target, anticipate possible outcomes, adapt to changes.

He hadn’t noticed McCree’s freckles until then.

“It’s strange seein’ you with that haircut, darlin’,” McCree pointed at him, glancing down at the long sleeve shirt he had chosen to wear.

“Are you implying I do not look good, McCree?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow, watching the cowboy flush and splutter in satisfaction.

“Wh-- no! Of course y’do! I’m just used to your traditional clothes. Now you look more approachable,” he hurried to say.

“And now you imply I look easy,” he mocked.

“I-- no, I didn’t. Genji, help me,” McCree begged with a whimper, groaning when he found Genji and Lúcio stifling their chuckles behind their hands.

“I am not helping you compliment my brother, McCree,” he said before collecting his plate and his dragon, leaving them with Lúcio behind him, both still chuckling.

McCree looked back at him, seeming lost. _Truth or lie?_ Hanzo thought observing him.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Hanzo,” McCree said in a lower tone.

“I know,” he accepted after a moment.

The cowboy stared at him before he rubbed his face with a gloved hand, groaning. “You are terrible, darlin’.”

“Truer words were never spoken.”

McCree huffed behind his hand before lowering it, a small smile painted in his face.

 _Truth or lie?_ Soba and Udon returned to his side, nipping softly at his healed hands. He scratched their chins before taking his gloves out of his back pockets and putting them on.

“Ey,” McCree called him. “Are you feelin’ better? Yesterday you seemed a bit off.”

He sounded sincere. _It’s all a facade. Is it not?_

Hanzo sighed, the mark on his shoulder a heavy weight in his thoughts. “Yes. although I would like to have my gourd back.”

“Only if you promise never to drink alone again,” McCree retorted with a wolfish grin.

Hanzo snorted. “Fine.”

He was determined to prove to the spirits sitting on his shoulders that the cowboy’s attitude was all a lie, no matter the cost.

 

* * *

 

It was so easy to settle into the new routine that Hanzo didn’t know he was falling for it until it was too late.

McCree seemed confused at first, his flirty smiles almost dropping when, instead of silence, he got an answer back. He reacted quickly though, usually chuckling or winking at him, both soon entering into a contest to see who could stop the flirty banter first.

Hanzo had never felt like that, so it took him a while to recognize the feelings as what they were: infatuation. A crush. For the man which role was to keep an eye on him.

He knew objectively McCree was a handsome man, attractive and charming in his rugged way. And he had been stupid enough to start a game that had consumed him without noticing.

The smugness in the dragons’ scaly faces didn’t help either, anger and embarrassment burning him from within, a useless ember of hope starting to grow and threatening to devour him.

But pride was still strong in him, and he was determined to uncover McCree’s lies so the spirits could finally accept that, despite the mark he kept hidden under layers of clothes, they were not meant to be.

 

* * *

 

“There is an unknown subject approaching your position, agent McCree,” Athena informed through their comms.

Winston had sent them on a recognition mission after he and Athena got some intel of possible Talon activity in the area. McCree and Hanzo had been the chosen to do so. The small town they had been sent to was celebrating a festivity of some sort, the flows of people facilitating their task of walking around without raising suspicion. At least until dawn, were both had agreed in their impression of being followed.

They had tried to escape towards the extraction point, where Lena was waiting for them, as surreptitiously as possible, but the feeling had persisted.

Hence the situation of attempting to lose whoever was behind them along the dark alleys to avoid a confrontation.

“Shit,” cursed McCree, changing his direction and speeding up, looking around. “Friend or foe?”

“Cannot say, there is something interfering with my scanners,” answered Athena, Hanzo following McCree and paying attention to their rear.

They reached an intersection when they hear someone laugh behind, too close for their own good.

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” murmured McCree, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and pushing him against the closest wall, the shadow of the balcony over them failing to hide them from curious eyes.

Hanzo didn’t have time to react, his surprised gasp dying against the cowboy’s lips. His brain short-circuited, his body acting on his own raising his hands to grab the shirt that covered the cowboy’s hips.

It was not very pleasant, the awkward angle allowing more a crash of mouths than a kiss. But he still noticed the softness of McCree’s lips against his, the scrub of his beard, the heat his body emanated, the contrast of his metal hand and the gloved one holding his face.

Hanzo opened his eyes to look at Jesse when he moved back not knowing when he had closed them, his heart stopping cold in his chest when he found the cowboy frowning in concentration, his head slightly tilted to hear what was happening behind him. His posture stiffening when someone laughed again, their steps passing by and leading away.

Only then the gunslinger focused on him again, his face schooled into something more neutral. His eyes softened when he looked at him, his gloved thumb idly caressing his lower lip.

Hanzo stared, unable to speak, his hands having moved from McCree’s hips to his lower back on their own. He expected the cowboy to move away, but he leaned down again.

Hanzo felt his heart stop in his chest, the sweet, slow press of McCree’s lips against his completely different to what they did before.

McCree glanced down at his lips once again before he released him, taking several steps back to distance himself. He cleared his throat, glancing at him from under the brim of his hat. “It seems we lost them, partner. We better hurry up and reach the extraction point,” he said before turning back and walk away.

Hanzo only nodded, a shuddering breath leaving his lips. He rearranged his clothes before following him, his mind empty of any thought and his heart roaring in his ears.

 

* * *

 

It took them a few hours to get back to the base, Hanzo pretending to be occupied with his tablet and Jesse sleeping in his seat with his hat covering his face.

His mind was a whirl of thoughts and feelings, hope and despair taking turns to boost them. The dragons moving under his skin didn’t help either, but he managed to keep them at bay.

Winston was waiting for them when they arrived, the mission apparently a success even after they were close to being discovered, Athena receiving and classifying information of the town thanks to the bugs and cameras they had scattered around the place.

Genji had distracted him when they finished, both seeing McCree walk towards the kitchen while his brother asked about something he didn’t even remember.

Between getting something to eat and going back to his room to shower and crash in his bed it was almost dawn when Hanzo emerged out of it again. Determination guided his steps while he carried his gourd of sake in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

Hanzo felt slightly lightheaded, the ghost of their kiss still on his lips and butterflies in his stomach, but he was determined to find McCree and _talk_.

He wandered around the common areas finding them darkened and empty. He was about to go to their usual spot when he heard muttered voices coming in from one of the balconies.

Hanzo almost turned back to continue his search when he distinguished McCree’s deep voice. He approached slowly, his steps softened by the carpet, curiosity throwing away any respect for their privacy.

“But Jesse, hear me out,” he heard Lena say with a begging tone.

“It was only a kiss, Lena. Who would want to be with such a mess, anyway?”

The roar of his blood in his ears deafened him, a nauseating feeling in the pit of his stomach replacing the excitement he felt a moment ago, freezing him in place.

Only the frenzied growls of the dragons snapped him out of his state, forcing him to _move_ before he was caught listening in the shadows.

Hanzo stood in the middle of his room without recall of how or when he had gotten there, noticing after a while that his hands hurt. Looking down he saw his fingers tightened around the bottles he had been carrying. He put them carefully on his table, tampering down the sudden urge of wanting to throw them against the wall and massaging his hands instead.

Udon and Soba were chirping at him from the bed trying to get his attention.

“You were right,” he croaked, his mouth dry.

They looked at him in silence, worry and regret oozing through their bond.

“I should have done what you said. Talk to him as soon as I got the mark,” he continued with an empty tone. “I would have received a straight rejection, go to doctor Ziegler to dissolve the bond, so I could not have developed-- not for someone like--”

Hanzo couldn’t bring himself to say aloud what he felt. Not like he needed, since the dragons knew as well as him what he was thinking. Especially the dark thought that wanted to escape his mouth.

He had been right. McCree only pretended to tolerate him to keep him under vigilance.

Still, being right about his statement didn’t feel like a win. He had gotten so immersed in the game of wanting to prove the spirits were wrong that he had fallen for it, victim of his own deception. And now he had to pay the consequences.

Who would want to be with such a mess after all.

The dragons moved away to let him space to sit in the bed, enlarging their size to cover him with their bodies as soon as he laid down, grunting against his chest sharing his pain.

 

* * *

 

“Lúcio.”

The DJ jumped in his place in a way he’d had found comical in a different situation, but after a sleepless night he didn’t have the strength. He had changed his clothes and skipped breakfast to go to the med bay.

Hanzo saw Lúcio spinning around to face him with wide eyes, trying to hide something in his neck.

“Hanners, what the fuck! I’m going to put a bell on you, man!”

Hanzo still got a view of it. Green, shiny scales covered both sides of his neck now. A very familiar color and pattern. He managed to compose his face into a neutral one to look at Lúcio.

“Those are Ramen’s scales,” he stated.

“I-- yeah, they are,” Lúcio chuckled embarrassed, lowering his hands. “This is not how we wanted you to find out. Genji had been looking for you actually, he wanted to tell you.”

Hanzo ignored the pain that clenched his heart, forcing a polite smile. “I see. I am happy for you both. It was getting ridiculous how hard you tried to ignore the elephant in the room when the other was close.”

“Hey!” the DJ protested without heat, a shy smile spreading in his red face.

There was no way he could ask Lúcio what he had in mind now.

“I will leave then, I can come back any other time,” he said turning to the door.

“Ah, don’t worry! Come, tell me what’s afflicting you my. Friend. You definitely look horrible,” he said patting the closest gurney.

“I would prefer not.” He flinched internally when his rude words erased Lúcio’s smile. He saw the DJ squirmish in his place.

“Is it because your brother and I are soul--”

“No! No, of course not.” Hanzo sighed frustrated, Udon and Soba appearing in his shoulders surrounding him with their blue light.

He stepped closer to his friend, opening his gi and lowering the right sleeve, Lúcio’s gasp was audible in the silent room when he saw his soul mark.

“It is because I want you to remove mine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not beta-ed, so any mistake is my own. I tried to apply what I learned with the previous chapter, but if you see any flagrant error please let me know so I can fix it!
> 
> And as always, if you think there is something untagged that needs to be added to the list, tell me so I'll add it too.
> 
> Thanks to Q for suggesting the "cake stealer" name Ramen uses to talk about Hanzo :)

“B-but when-- Who! What??” Lúcio said approaching and extending his hands as to touch him, stopping in the last moment when he noticed he didn’t have his gloves on.

“You can touch, Lúcio. You are bonded to my brother.”

“Oh. Right,” he said, delicately touching the soul mark and running the tip of his fingers around the edges. “But who?”

“That is nothing of the matter,” muttered Hanzo, letting the DJ inspect the mark. He sighed when Lúcio glared at him from his shorter position.

“They have vehemently expressed their desire to not engage in any kind of relationship with me.”

He averted Lúcio’s eyes when he took a step back, not wanting to see the pity in his face.

“There is nothing to be sad about, Lúcio. Even if they had wanted, I would have broken the bond anyway.”

“Why?”

Hanzo covered the mark with the sleeve, still not looking at Lúcio.

“Hey. I think I know what’s going on in that head of yours.” Lúcio smiled softly when Hanzo glanced at him with a skeptic face. “You are very likable, even if you suffer one of the worst cases of resting bitch face I’ve ever seen,” the DJ nodded vehemently. “And if you tell me who’s the fool that turned you down with such harsh words, I’ll kick their ass. They aren’t worthy anyway if they weren’t able to reject you with the respect you deserve.”

He ignored Hanzo’s self-deprecating snort.

“Still, I am afraid I can’t help you,” he added, looking sincerely sorry when Hanzo frowned at him. “I’m not trained to run such procedure, and Angela left this morning to attend some meetings.”

Hanzo felt his stomach drop. “When will she return?”

Lúcio shrugged, looking lost. “I dunno. She said in two weeks at best if everything goes fine. I can send her a message to come--”

“No. there is no point on interrupting her work for this,” Hanzo said with a resigned tone. “It is only a soul mark, it is not a life or death situation.”

“Man, don’t say it like that or you’ll jinx it.” Lúcio’s whimper almost made Hanzo smile. “Are you sure you don’t wanna tell me who they are, so I can smack their face?”

A sudden wave of gratitude warmed Hanzo’s chest, a small smile finally pulling up the corner of his lips. “I appreciate your offer, but I would prefer to let it pass this time.”

Lúcio sighed, shaking his head. “Shame. But it’s your choice. Oh, hey. Hana is organizing a game if you wanna join?”

Hanzo saw through Lúcio’s invitation for what it was, a way to keep him from closing into himself, but the sleepless night had left him drained so he politely refused.

Checking the time before approaching the common area, he sneaked into the kitchen to gather some food, determined to avoid anyone at least for that day.  


* * *

  
When Hanzo was a kid and discovering the ins and outs of the clan, one of the things he first learned was to wear a mask. A blank, neutral face that showed nothing, so whoever was the receiver could interpret it either way as an agreement or as a threaten.

Hanzo learned to wear that mask around the Elders. Around the clan members when he found out that being family meant nothing if by dragging you down they could earn something. Around his closer family when he learned showing them his affection would be used as a weapon against them. Little by little Hanzo stopped showing his real face, hiding himself from anyone he didn’t trust.

And he had hated it everyday, having to conceal his feelings and his movements, suspecting of everyone that approached him.

He had thought, when he had arrived at the base, he’d never have to use it again around his teammates.

How foolish of him.

When he emerged of his room the next day he felt like back in his youth when he readied himself to face his assignments as the heir of the Shimada clan, a dance of lies and fake politeness burying him.

 _Only for two weeks_ , he kept repeating in the back of his mind, the dragons draped around his shoulders and purring in reassurement.

He faced the rest of the team in the kitchen, his heart skipping a beat when he found McCree among them.

“Mornin’, sleepyhead,” greeted him the cowboy with a bright smile in his face. “I prepared you some coffee, just as you like,” he said, pushing a cup towards him.

Two weeks felt like an eternity, but if he acted anything but as usual he could raise suspicions and an avalanche of unwanted questions, so he kept his mask on and sat at their table, drowning his feelings with the hot beverage.  


* * *

  
Keeping his facade and easy attitude sunk him into despair a bit more with each passing day. The meaningless sweet words McCree tossed at him felt now like daggers stabbing his heart, the uncomfortable twist in his gut he hide behind a snort or his usual retort raising bile up his throat.

He avoided being alone with McCree as best as he could, suggesting group training sessions, offering his help to any teammate that needed it, even accepting Hana’s invitation to her streaming.

Still, Hanzo felt McCree’s eyes glued on him when they were together in the same room, the feeling of being watched growing until it felt unbearable, the cold tendrils of anxiety tensing up his muscles and spine as a bowstring.  


* * *

  
It was the fourth day after his visit to the med bay, in the middle of an easy, regular mission, when he felt it for the first time.

Hanzo had been checking the package the team was calmly carrying to one of their contacts through the narrow, bright streets of a small coastal town in Greece, following them above the roofs and keeping an eye in their surroundings, when an unfamiliar, bubbly, warm feeling filled his chest. He grabbed the metal banister of the dome he was sitting at not to fall, blood leaving his face. He felt his eyes bugging out of his skull and his heart thudding like crazy.

The dragon’s string of growls in his ears tried to fight the feeling that didn’t belong to him nor them, Hanzo struggling to breathe when his throat suddenly constricted after he realized what was happening.

The bond. _He was feeling McCree_.

It shouldn’t be happening though. _The bond is not complete. I did not touch him; he does not have my mark_.

He was freaking out, sitting alone in the roof of a small building, the people walking below him ignorant of his presence.

“Darlin’ where are you? We delivered the package and closed the deal.” Hanzo could hear the telltale of a smile in McCree’s voice, like if he had been laughing before calling him.

Hanzo packed and pushed his thoughts and fear deep into the back of his mind, taking a deep breath before answering. “On my way.”  


* * *

  
The seventh day Udon and Soba, positioned as always in his shoulders since everything started, hissed at McCree when he sat in front of him for breakfast, the two of them wary and tense after constantly feeling the cowboy through Hanzo.

  
He felt them stifling when they realized what they have done, hissing at everyone that approached Hanzo just to maintain the facade that they wanted no one close and not only McCree.

  
Hanzo hastily abandoned the room after murmuring something about the dragons having been restless and irritated for no reason, feeling his brother’s concerned eyes glued on him.

In the afternoon Hanzo felt the mark get warmer in his arm for the first time, pulsing with a foreign rhythm while McCree’s feelings bloomed in his chest.

Hanzo drank himself to sleep that night, leaving the gourd completely empty.  


* * *

  
On day nine Lúcio discovered his secret.

Hanzo was pretending to read in the common room with the dragons sprawled on top of him, taking advantage of the silence the bond conceded him after a training session where McCree had been even more flirtatious than usual. He had chosen the farthest couch of the room, almost hidden at first sight, although Lúcio had found him easily. He had sat at his side, a warm smile trying to hide the worry in his face (“you look like shit”. “Thank you, it is always a pleasure talking to you, Lúcio”), pulling his tablet out of his bag to work.

They had stayed in an agreeable silence for a while, when Hana entered the room.

“And what did you do to work undercover? I mean, didn’t any soul mark appear? Working so close together must have triggered some bond,” she said.

McCree’s chuckle made Hanzo’s stomach churn, managing to keep an external calmness while his mind planned a sneaky exit of the room. He glanced at his sides, considering if the room was enough dimmed to do so while the other two were distracted, not noticing his and Lúcio’s presence in the shadowy room.

“Well, they developed some tests to check if the agents would be soulmates before sendin’ them together on an undercover mission. Imagine bein’ workin’ and an accidental touch markin’ your partner.”

Hanzo tensed unconsciously in his seat, his posture rigid and almost not breathing. The dragons peeked over his shoulder to watch at McCree, their mental growls almost deafening the chat he was having with Hana.

“Of course some couples formed in that time, but boss only sent unbonded agents on a mission.”

“And those tests were secure?” Hana asked dubiously.

“Well, it was not completely safe proof, but close enough.” Hanzo heard McCree move in his seat. “We were stupid enough to check it the only way that could confirm the results,” McCree paused a second.”Touchin’ each other, obviously.”

Hana gasped delightedly. “And neither triggered it anyway?”

“Not that I’m aware of. Still, Boss was kind enough not to send bonded agents to do missions that weren’t, y’know, infiltrating enemy bases and all that.”

“Why?”

“Well, kid, because you do what you gotta do to finish the mission. Especially when you are undercover. Sometimes it meant to crawl through dark, nasty places. Others you had to pretend to be a couple with a teammate. Once I even had to flirt with the target itself to separate them from their guards. Took a couple of months, but they finally trusted me enough to be alone in a room with me. We extracted them through the window,” Jesse chuckled.

“Wait, you pretended to be a couple?” Hana asked incredulously.

“Yeah. We knew what it was, don't cha worry. What you do in a mission ends when you write your report,” McCree explained, unaware of what his words were doing to Hanzo.

 _It was only a kiss. It was nothing_.

Hanzo felt the cold grip of the anxiety constricting his lungs in his chest, not getting enough oxygen. _A lie. Only another job._

“Hanzo.” Lúcio’s worried murmur snapped him out of his mindstate.

He looked at his side, only then noticing he had been squeezing his friend’s arm with his right hand looking for some comfort while hearing the cowboy’s words, finding Lúcio staring at him with concern painting his face.

Hanzo released him without a word, getting up as silently as he could in his agitated state and walking towards the exit.

He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when the salty, cold breeze of the ocean blew over his face. Hanzo looked around, finding himself in an exterior zone he didn’t recognize. The familiar view of the ocean and the sun dyeing the sky in warm orange tones leading to the darkness of the night didn’t help him calm down.

Hanzo let his body crumble against the wall, rubbing his face with shaky hands and trying to collect himself with a few controlled breaths.

He had had crushes in the past, but he had never experienced a one-sided, unwanted bond. He was sure though, after seeing how Lúcio and Genji looked at each other, that a bond with your soulmate shouldn’t feel like that. Confusing, painful, overwhelming.

 _Too much_ , he thought to himself, his chest hurting and his heart beating crazily against his ribs. His legs finally gave up, his weight slipping down the wall to collapse on the floor.

Hanzo hated not being able to be in control, his mind and his body at the mercy of a bond he did not choose, feeling the emotions of a man that thought nothing of him and for whom he had fallen too hard, too fast.

He held a wimp behind his tight thinned lips when a new wave of emotions that didn’t belong to him expanded in his chest.

 _Make it stop_ , he begged with his eyes closed. _Please, make it stop._

Blue, warm light surrounded him, Udon and Soba in their true form embracing him tightly.

 _We are here, young one_ , Soba murmured calmly in his ear. They gleamed brighter, their bodies vibrating against him. Something hot went through Hanzo, his limbs going weak. He heard them growl before everything went dark.

 

 

Hanzo opened his eyes to a completely dark sky, stars peeking through the occasional cloud the wind dragged above him. Despite the night lower temperatures his skin was warmer than usual, the cold wind against his face helping with the pounding headache that pulsed behind his eyes.

_Did it work?_

Hanzo heard Udon asking, only noticing then they were still wrapped around him, protecting and keeping him warm.

“What did you do,” he groaned, the dryness of his throat breaking his voice.

 _The bond, young one_ . Soba prodded carefully the side of his face with her wet snout. _We tried to burn it. It was causing you pain. Did it work?_

Hanzo looked up, both dragons observing him attentively. Besides the soreness of his body and the headache, he felt nothing else that didn’t belong to him. Sitting up at a slow pace he ignored the cold wind to take off the jacket and pull up the sleeve of his t-shirt.

Under the dim light the moon provided the three of them watched the mark was still in his arm, but none of them felt nothing.

“I do not feel him,” Hanzo said, redressing and trying to keep the hope that flicked in his chest at bay. “But the mark is still there.”

 _If that means you will not suffer until the doctor comes back, we are satisfied_.

Hanzo felt Udon and Soba’s affection through their bond, relieved and satisfied their idea had worked.

He got up with their help, watching them reduce their size to go back inside the base, fortunately finding no one in his retreat to his room.

 

Next morning Hanzo woke up disoriented, checking his comm and finding it was later than the usual time he started his day, for once not minding he had overslept. He looked around the room trying to find what had disrupted his sleep when he felt it.

Heat pooled in his lower stomach, a wave of pleasure running up his back and spreading goosebumps over his skin. The sudden knowledge of what those telltales meant and to whom they belonged to froze the blood in his veins and tightened his chest.

Hanzo screamed his rage and defenselessness into his pillow, Udon and Soba growling furiously to the empty room, while they felt McCree reach his peak through the soul bond.  


* * *

   
Hanzo avoided any contact with the rest of the team, not caring anymore if they noticed. He skipped team training, scurried into the kitchen when no one was around to gather food, and spent his day moving around the base and the cliffs that surrounded it.

He ignored his brother’s text messages and calls, only bothering to answer Lúcio’s when he questioned him about McCree to tell him he needed time to himself and to not say anything to anyone about his bond.

Hanzo felt restless, the bond sending more emotions than before the dragons tried to burn it. The mark in his arm hurt intermittently, and he sensed clearer with the pass of the hours McCree’s feelings. Hanzo stopped trying to fight the waves of joy and worryness the cowboy experienced, letting them wash over him instead, defeated.

McCree seemed to grow wary and concerned the longer he was unreachable, but he was too tired to care. His messages were ignored too, the temptation to block him too strong for a moment. Only the fear that doing so could start a manhunt against him stopping him.  


* * *

  
Hanzo had been a ghost around the base for three days, sleepless nights and the emotional drain of having to constantly feel his soulmate against his will leaving him numb and empty. He had found peace and quiet in a catwalk outside the base when he heard McCree asking Genji if he knew where he was.

His tiredness must have made him clumsy if Genji had found him, but he had not enough strength to care. He watched them leave; the dragons trying to comfort him when a new wave of pain pulsed through his arm.

Only when the cold wind numbed his face to the point of not feeling it anymore he decided it was time to go back inside to his room. He heard a ringing inside his ears, a sudden dizziness bringing dark spots to his eyes.

Hanzo felt more than heard the growl of one of the dragons against him. He didn’t have time to wonder when did he lay back to look at the sky when darkness claimed him.  
 

* * *

  
Genji was worried for his brother. He didn’t know what had triggered him to go back to the behavior he had portrayed when he arrived at the base, but it worried and hurt him deeply.

He suspected Lúcio knew what had happened, since he had seen his soulmate try to contact his brother too to no avail. Still, he knew if he tried to push his brother to get an answer he could only shut himself away even more.

He was walking past the common room when he felt a giddy warmth coming through the soul bond. Genji turned around in time to see Lúcio coming out of the room with a soft smile and a tender glint in his eyes.

“Hey, did you finish training already?” he asked, pointing at Genji’s full armor.

“Yes.”

“Cool. What about taking off that faceplate? I want to see that pretty face.”

If Lúcio felt his hesitancy through the bond before Genji complied he kept it to himself. Genji had been getting more comfortable walking around his teammates without his helmet, or a hoodie, covering his face. Still, he couldn’t help the little pang of fear and discomfort whenever he did it in front of his soulmate, even when he had shown nothing but love and support.

“Ahh, there you go. Hello, gorgeous,” murmured Lúcio, grabbing his neck to pull him down and kiss him.

“Hello to you too,” Genji smiled against his lips, embracing his smaller boyfriend with his arms. He hummed happily when Lúcio run his fingers through the short hair of his nape.

“You know, I was thinking,” Lúcio moved back to look at him, the soft smile transforming into a mischievous grin.

“Spirits have mercy.”

“How about I hook up your lights to my music?”

Genji snorted, putting his hands in Lúcio’s hips and squeezing. “That is not what they are for.”

“Says who?”

  
He sighed, Lúcio’s smirk spreading knowing he had gotten what he wanted.

“Just this one ti--”

“AAHH!!”

Genji pushed Lúcio behind him the second after they heard a growl across the hallway, unsheathing his sword with Ramen hovering above them waiting for an attack. He looked astonished when Udon appeared through the wall, clearly distressed.

“Udon?”

 _It is your brother, young one,_ Ramen said agitated, the spirit’s thoughts filling his mind with pressing needs.

“Ouch, lower the volume, big guy,” grunted Lúcio, lowering his sonic weapon and rubbing his ear.

“Shit, Lú, I am sorry. We are still learning how to control the bonds,” Genji said apologetically. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just need to get used to this mental _ménage à trois,_ ” the DJ waved a hand in dismiss. “Go see what happened to your brother and let me know if he needs medical assistance.”

Genji kissed his forehead before running after the dragons, feeling Lúcio’s worry accompany him through the bond.

He arrived at the exit he had walked through not that long ago, climbing the wall to reach the catwalk where he knew Hanzo had been. Soba’s giant figure covering and protecting his brother with a snarl stopped him in his tracks.

“Hanzo?” he asked, approaching them cautiously, kneeling beside his brother when Soba stopped growling and left him space.

His brother blinked owlishly at him, recognition bringing a frown between his brows.

“Genji? What--” he looked around, raising up clumsily from where he had been laying against Soba to a sitting position.

“Udon came looking for me, he--” Genji stopped talking, listening to Ramen for a second. “They say you fainted? I’ll call Lúcio.”

“No! No, we are fine,” Hanzo stopped him with a raised hand. “I am being honest, I--” Genji saw his brother frown, pensive, looking at his dragons. “I have been feeling dizzy but now… Soba, could you?”

Soba and Udon reduced their size to the smaller one, two shiny dragons perched in Hanzo’s shoulders. Genji observed them quietly, Hanzo’s face doing scrunching after a few minutes. “No, go back, I--”

Hanzo groaned distressed, the dragons growing up again to their natural size surrounding him. “Yes, that is better.” He glanced at Genji, rubbing his face with his hand when he saw the worry on his brother’s face. “I do not know why, but them being like this calms the pain.”

“What is going on, brother?”

Hanzo sighed, getting comfortable against Soba and Udon. Genji sat at his side when he was done, Ramen joining eagerly their twisted pile.

“It has been years since the last time we sat like this,” he murmured appreciatively before he looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow.

“It is my arm. It hurts.” Reluctance tinted Hanzo’s words.

It was Genji’s time to sigh. He knew his brother’s difficulty to express anything related to his feelings or his well-being, so he had to be patient if he wanted to have an answer. “And why is that?”

Instead of answering, Genji saw how his brother pulled off the right sleeve of his gi, followed by the sweater he had underneath and leaving his side exposed to the cold of the night. Twisting towards him, Hanzo showed him his right arm.

Genji widened his eyes when he saw the soul mark, snapping his eyes to his brother’s face. He noticed the tight thinned lips, the dark bags under his eyes, and the pain saddening his expression.

He didn’t need to ask, Hanzo wore painted in his face that his soulmate had rejected him. The thought burned with anger in his chest, the trail of thoughts to kick the bastard’s ass for making his brother feel so miserable interrupted by a sudden idea.

“Wait. You are marked, but are they?” Hanzo shook his head while he redressed. “Then how can you feel pain? You didn’t complete the bond,” Genji asked confused. “since when does it hurt? Since when do you have it? I am calling Angela.”

Hanzo stopped him from moving with a hand on his shoulder. “I do not know,” he answered, removing his hand from Genji’s when he sat again against him. “It started hurting six days ago. I started feeling them nine days ago.” Hanzo took a deep breath and looked out at the ocean. “I got the mark the day you and Lúcio decided I looked old and bought me all the new clothes and gave me the haircut.”

Genji gasped, astonished. “You have been bonded for almost two months?” he asked, anger twisting into confusion, confusion turning into pain. After all they had gone through, after all their talks, his brother still didn’t trust him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What could have solved, if you knew?”

“I could have supported you, _aniki_. You wouldn't have hurt alone.”

Genji saw the stubborn face Hanzo had for a second before he hide it under his usual indifference mask.

“Hanzo… please, tell me you said nothing because of some sort of self-punishment.”

Silence was his answer, anger and sadness making his heart clench. Genji forgot his years of training with his master for a moment, desperation and disbelief making him punch Hanzo’s arm.

“ _Aniki_ , you damn idiot!” Genji punched him again, making him hiss this time. “You and your self-sacrificing bullshit. You asshole! This made you hurt. It made you _faint_! What the hell were you thinking! This is not a joke, what if it gets worse? What if next time you--” he held his breath when his voice broke, Hanzo finally looking at him, regretful. “You have to stop doing that, Hanzo. You don’t have to take anything as a punishment, I have told you many times I forgave you.”

Hanzo looked at him, pain twisting his mouth and making his frown deepen. “But what if I have not forgiven myself, Genji. What if this is the punishment I deserve for what I did.”

“What, condemn yourself to a life of suffering? Where is the limit, Hanzo? What if you die because you are fucking stubborn?”

“I do not fear death.”

“No,” Genji whispered. “You find living the challenge.”

He felt Hanzo tense beside him, his back taut in an immobile position. Genji felt his throat constrict when his brother released a hold breath, his shoulders slumping before he rested his weight against him.

“You are allowed to move on, _aniki_. You can enjoy things, and you shouldn’t torture yourself for that. There is nothing wrong with finding a soulmate, but punishing yourself because it didn’t work is not healthy.”

They remained in silence for a while, Genji passing his arm over Hanzo’s shoulders to hug him.

“I did not think I could ever get bonded,” murmured Hanzo, his deep voice resonating against Genji’s chest. “I was determined to reject them if I did. I did not want what our parents had, an union created to gain status and recognition. Later, after what happened between us… I realized that I had no right to condemn anyone to bond with me. A failure to the clan, a kinslayer. An assassin.”

“Hanzo--”

His brother continued talking, ignoring his protest. “I wanted to prove this was an accident, that there was no way the two of us would be together.” Hanzo chuckled humorlessly. “I was a fool. I thought there was a real chance, but... It was all a lie. A way to keep me under control, I suppose.” he took a few breaths to calm down, Udon placing his head in Hanzo’s lap. “I do not want to be a pawn, Genji.”

Genji hugged him fiercely when he heard the openness and raw desperation in his brother’s voice, hearing Ramen rumble behind him and feeling him tighten his hold around Hanzo’s dragons. He controlled his body reaction but his mind was racing, a white rage filling the bond with his spirit.

They shouted and growled through their connection, terrified of seeing Hanzo looking so small and defeated when not even in their youth, under the Elders and the clan manipulations, did he looked so utterly subdued. They were determined to hunt and destroy whoever had done that, both thinking and revising their memories of the past months to figure it out.

Ramen was the first one to roar when they both reached the same conclusion. Those two had gotten really close within the past months, spending time together no matter if training, eating, or having a drink at night. Genji wondered how he hadn’t seen it before, with Hanzo avoiding everyone and McCree acting weird while looking for him. He hadn’t expected such behavior from his friend and knowing he had been capable of it was a hard disappointment for him.

“Doctor Ziegler is finishing her business in a few days. I will ask her to remove the bond when she comes back,” Hanzo interrupted their internal chat, his voice empty of any emotion.

“I’ll accompany you, _aniki_. It is not an option, I’m coming with you,” Genji said, cutting any protest.

“All right.”

“Just wanted you to know, the rest of the team misses you. Hana and Mei had asked me where you were, they missed their walks with you around the cliffs. So you better go talk to them tomorrow,” he added, wanting to lift his brother’s spirit.

Hanzo sighed, tension leaving his voice. “All right.”

Genji squeezed him with his arm reassuringly, both sitting in silence until the cold of the night was unbearable even with the heat of the dragons surrounding them. Genji accompanied Hanzo to his room, Ramen perched over his shoulder keeping an eye in the giant figures of Udon and Soba following them.

He wished a good night to his brother, remaining in the empty corridor lost in his thoughts before going to his own room.

_Is the cake stealer going to be all right?_

“When are you going to stop calling him that?” he asked, appreciating Ramen’s trying to ease their thoughts using the old name he had assigned to Hanzo when they were kids.

 _When he pays his debt_ , Ramen huffed. _That cake was ours_.

“That was like twenty years ago, my friend. It is time to move on.”

 _A dragon never forgets_.

“You are as insufferable as him,” Genji snorted, feeling Ramen’s tail hit his back in retaliation. “I don’t know, Ramen,” he sighed, answering the spirit’s question. “I hate to mess with Hanzo’s business, but this time we will have to make an exception.”

Ramen chirped in agreement as they reached his room where Lúcio was waiting for him. They saw him get up of the bed to hug him when he sensed his internal turmoil. Genji dragged his smaller boyfriend towards the desk, sitting him on top and hugging him, sighing contentedly when Lúcio surrounded him with his arms and legs.

“What happened? Is Hanzo ok?”

Genji rubbed his nose against Lúcio’s neck, breathing his scent and basking in his warmth, opening himself to their bond.

Lúcio’s breath hitched slightly when Ramen joined them, carefully poking their boundaries like he had been doing since they bonded, the three of them slowly adapting to their new situation. Genji was used to the dragon’s presence in his mind, but he understood why Lúcio would feel overwhelmed with his vast power.

“Yes, he is for now. He is bonded, which I assume you knew already,” Genji said without heat. He caressed the soulmark’s scales peeking out the hoodie Lúcio was wearing, feeling him tighten his arms around his shoulders.

“Yeah, it was not my secret to tell,” Lúcio murmured remorsefully.

“I understand. But he says he feels the bond, Lúcio, that is not normal.”

“What! I didn’t know that!”

Lúcio looked stupefied, emitting a cold uncertainty through their bond, so Genji gently stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers and pressing their foreheads together.

“I know, Lú, I’m not blaming you. But he says the mark hurts and only having the dragons at full-size ease it. So since he's an idiot that can’t take care of himself, I will do it on his place.”

“See, I told him he’d jinx it,” he lamented.

_Do you think Master will be mad at us if I chew the cowboy next time we see him?_

_Not if he doesn’t find out_ , grunted Genji.

_We will have to meditate a lot to compensate._

“Dang, you figured that out too?” Lúcio asked, Ramen having spoken into their bond. He sighed when Genji nodded. “I never expected it. Not them being soulmates, that doesn’t surprise me. But the way he rejected Hanzo… If you two do that, I want to record it for the posterity.”

Genji snorted, melting a bit more into Lúcio’s embrace before releasing him, keeping his legs around him and twisting to grab the comm he had left on his table, opening the contact list to text a message.

“I think I’m gonna do some research about bonds. That he sense it is weird enough, but the pain? doesn’t sound good at all,” Lúcio murmured against his hairline. “You’ll get into trouble if he finds out, even if it’s the right thing,” he added when he read what Genji was writing.

“Like if that ever stopped me,” he murmured, Ramen chirping in agreement from his place on the bed.

If what Hanzo said about the bond being a way to control him was true, Winston was about to lose the local cowboy of the team.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the last chapter! I've been editing and changing things the whole day, so if you find any mistake please let me know so I can fix it.
> 
> And here we see the scene that gives the Mature rating to the fic, so please keep it in mind. Still, if you see something that should be tagged but it is not, let me know and I'll add it :)

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair leaving it messier than before, something Lena didn’t think was possible.

“You kissed him?” she asked with widened eyes.

“I acted on instinct, ok?” Jesse murmured before he blew a cloud of smoke, putting out the end of the cigar he had been dragging. “We thought we were bein’ followed, and my brain went into the basics: create a distraction and avoid confrontation if possible.” He rubbed his face his hand, sighing frustratedly. “I didn’t _think_ , I just grabbed Hanzo and kissed him.”

He only realized what he had done when, hearing the steps getting away on the alley, he looked down and found the archer looking back at him dumbfounded. Jesse had thanked whoever god that watched his back when he saw no mark in Hanzo’s face.

“Well, you’re lucky he didn’t get a mark right there. You’d be dead if Hanzo had gotten his face tattooed, love,” Lena said reading his mind, smirking and making him groan.

“Yeah…”

“Oh-ho ho, wait right there, Jesse,” lena said blinking into the air. “Did you expect to mark him?”

Jesse glanced at his friend,  her mouth open and eyes wide with surprise. “I dunno. I-- I dunno, Lena.”

He had stupidly mulled, absently daydreamed with the possibility that, after growing close to each other over the past months, maybe they would be soulmates. He couldn’t bring himself to admit the disappointment he felt when he saw nothing on Hanzo’s skin.

“Hey, that means nothing. Look at your parents! They don’t have a bond, right? And they love each other deeply,” chirped Lena trying to cheer him up. “You still can ask him to go out, maybe on a date?”

“Yeah, sure, that could work splendidly,” he scoffed, a sudden self-deprecative feeling souring his tone.

“Hey! Why not? I’ve seen you around, y’know? You two have this weird dynamic of being mean and sarcastic towards the other in a strange flirty way, Jesse. I think you should give it a go,” Lena nodded with a reassuring smile that only darkened his mood.

There was no way someone like Hanzo would like someone like _him_. He knew how he looked and the past he carried, as well as how regal and well put Hanzo looked, the struggles he had gone through with Genji and the hard effort he put to create a better relationship with his brother.

A lingering glance here and there, a double meaning innuendo or a shared joke didn’t mean the archer cared for him in a different way that he’d care for any other teammate, and the thought of losing Hanzo’s friendship after what it had taken Jesse to earn his trust, because he had just fantasized with the idea of being soulmates, terrified him more than what he was willing to recognize.

He shook his head, sighing and feeling the tiredness of not having any sleep draining him. The memory of him hiding under his hat pretending to sleep in the shuttle back to the base to avoid talking to Hanzo reddened his cheeks with embarrassement.

 _Such a coward_.

“But Jesse, hear me out,” Lena insisted.

“It was only a kiss, Lena. Who would want to be with such a mess, anyway?”

He heard the soft sound of the chronal accelerator working before a small hand slapped the back of his head.

“Hey!”

“Listen to me, Jesse McCree! You are a good man,” Lena said with a frown on her face and poking his chest with her index finger. “Anyone would be proud and honored to have you as their partner, soulmate or not. So stop that self-loathing bullshit, buckle up, and go ask that man on a date, or I swear to God I’ll kick your ass, damn it!”

Taken by surprise, Jesse looked astonished at the small woman in front of him before a burst of laugh bubbling from his chest surprised them both.

“I’m not joking!”

“I know, Lena, I know,” he said breathing between chuckles. “I’ll think about it.”

Lena narrowed her eyes at him before she released a huff, going back inside with her chin tilted up and murmuring about stubborn cowboys that didn’t know better.

He stood in the balcony a little longer with his sight lost in the horizon, raising up his serape to cover his cold ears and burrowing under the thick wool. Winter had finally arrived at the base and he had had to take out his warmer clothes to fight the damp air.

He thought about what Lena had said, the little flick of hope in his chest soon crushed under the weight of reality. Hanzo hadn’t even returned the kiss.

_The last thing he expected in the middle of a mission was a kiss, you dumbass._

To be fair, he hadn't rejected it either, looking up at Jesse with wide eyes and gripping onto his shirt like if his life depended on it when Jesse had given him space.

Jesse could get lost in those dark brown eyes any day. After seeing them bright and shine with happiness when Hanzo had started to open up to him, he hated when the archer hid himself under a mask of indifference.

 _You old sap_. If he followed that line of thoughts he’d be soon writing love poems about Hanzo, and he wasn’t sure that was good for any of them.

Jesse groaned while running his hand down his face, taking a deep breath before going inside. Maybe a good night of sleep could give him the clarity he needed to decide what was better: confessing his feelings or locking them and pretend nothing happened in that dark alley.

 

* * *

 

Next day Hanzo was nowhere to be seen, and Jesse could swear he felt how his heart dropped to his feet.

He had fucked up. He should have stayed after the debrief and talked to Hanzo, explain to him why he did what he did and ask him out, no matter if they weren’t soulmates.

He was trying to drown his pathetic face into his cup of coffee when he heard Genji talk.

“Hey, Lú, have you seen my brother? We were supposed to meet for our meditation.”

Jesse would deny forever that he raised his head and sprained his ears to pay attention to the conversation.

“Yeah, he went back to sleep. Jet lag is a bitch, y’know.”

Genji snorted. “So he is actually turning into an old man. That deserves some pestering on my part. It comes in the _How to be a good little brother_ manual, so it’s law,” he said giggling.

“You are horrible,” said Lúcio with a mocking tone, both leaving the kitchen between chuckles.

Jesse released a breath he didn’t notice he was holding, huffing relieved onto his coffee. He was sleeping, not avoiding him.

That gave him another day to think what to do, or what to say, before facing Hanzo.

Jesse idly wondered, getting up to put the cup in the sink, what the archer would like more, a day date, or a night date.

 

* * *

 

Jesse could feel Lena’s eyes drilling the back of his head, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. Because he wasn’t stalling, and he was not afraid to go to the table and sit with the others were Hanzo could easily see him when he entered the kitchen. No, sir. He was a man on a mission.

To watch his cup of coffee getting filled in the coffee machine, to be specific. It was important to have a nice, decent breakfast in the morning. That the coffee machine had finished five minutes ago was irrelevant.

He shook his head, Lena's eyes burning in his nape. Grabbing his cup and the one he had prepared before his, he went to sit at the table, intentionally ignoring the pilot’s glare and filling his plate with food.

It didn’t take long before he noticed, more than heard, Hanzo’s presence in the room. Jesse raised his head to look at him, a stupid smile in his face betraying his feelings.

Something froze in his stomach when he saw Hanzo staring back at him with a plain expression that revealed nothing.

 _Shit_.

Jesse almost sighed relieved when the archer approached the table and sat in front of him, reluctant.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he said, straightening the freshly ironed shirt he had put on.

 _Maybe I ain't the only nervous after all_ , he thought while offering Hanzo a cup of coffee.

Jesse should have to be careful then. He didn’t want to ruin his relationship with Hanzo doing or saying something out of time.

He grinned openly at the archer when he glanced at him. Time to plan the whole thing.

 

* * *

 

First thing Jesse decided was that he couldn’t declare his feelings without looking good. So, after the morning training he washed all his clothes, cleaned his boots, polished his belts and bands of his hats, and trimmed his beard.

He even cleaned and organized his room, though he didn’t have any intention of asking Hanzo to go inside. He didn’t want to give the wrong impression, Jesse wanted to make it all good from the beginning.

Jesse said nothing that day though, nor the next one. Every time he thought about making a move, saying Hanzo how he felt, something stopped him. A meeting, a training session, a teammate demanding the attention of one of them. His own damn doubts and self-consciousness.

He knew he _needed_ to say something, but with each passing hour, he hesitated. Hanzo still treated as usual, but Jesse could swear he tensed his shoulders whenever he approached him.

He had the nagging feeling that Hanzo was trying to avoid him, never having a moment alone. The training sessions were with the rest of the group, as well as the lunches and dinners, and the archer started to come up with excuses to not meet him in their drinking spot.

Though Jesse recognized they were legit excuses: Winston needing to check something with him in his office; his brother calling him; Hana convincing him to join her stream.

But that avoidance was what stopped him of saying anything. Hanzo was a determined man and knew what he wanted. Perhaps that was his way of letting him down nicely.

Jesse was confused, his mental list of pros and cons about the whole thing equally long, so the days passed with him doing nothing about it. Until the morning Udon and Soba growled at him when he went to grab his breakfast.

Hanzo muttered an apology, explaining the dragons had been acting weird lately before hastily leaving the room. Jesse could feel the rest of the team glancing at him as if he had any idea of what had happened. He shrugged, as lost and confused as them.

 

* * *

 

Jesse knew Hana was telling him something, but his head was somewhere else. He had been trying to find Hanzo after their training session without result, and he could feel the small pang of anxiety that had been pooling in his chest growing and expanding.

“Ouch!” he protested when two pointy fingers stabbed his ribs.

“Stop ignoring me, old man! And answer my question,” demanded Hana, mad after noticing he had been ignoring her.

After he apologized Hana dragged him towards the empty rec room, where she proceeded to ask every question she had about how Overwatch and Blackwatch solved the soulmates problem back in the day. Jesse gave her the shorter version, only stopping when he sensed movement behind him.

Turning his head he saw Lúcio sitting in the further couch of the room, a murderous frown pinned in him.

Hana and he saw in astonished silence how the paramedic got up and rushed out of the room without a word.

“Did you do something to him?” asked Hana, puzzled.

“No,” Jesse shook his head, frowning confused. “You?”

“Pff, no.”  


They left soon after that, Hana wanting to talk with her team back in Korea to see how everything was going and Jesse receiving a message from Jack to check some reports.

He couldn't help the dreading feeling that he was missing something important.

 

* * *

 

Jesse groaned against his pillow when the sound of the alarm chased away the dream, the ghost of wicked lips against his neck and the warm body draped over him dissipating as he gained consciousness of his surroundings.

He thrust his hips against the bed, the friction against his hard on making him moan. Damn, it was being a very nice dream.

Turning over to lay on his back, Jesse peeked through the hair over his face with one half open eye to check the time, humming satisfied when he saw he had a bit to waste.

He stretched before lazily running his right hand down his chest, scratching through his hair and spreading goosebumps in his way to where he wanted.

Jesse bit his lower lip when he sneaked his hand under the loose pants he used to sleep, grabbing his cock and tugging at it.

He tried to remember what he had been dreaming: Hanzo laying over his back and kissing his neck while running his deftly fingers all over his body.

Jesse pushed down the covers and his pants, shivering a bit when the cold hair of the room hit his warmer skin. He stroked his shaft steadily, spreading the pre-come with his thumb to ease the long, leisured pumps.

It didn't take long before he felt the telltale of his orgasm building up, heat pooling in his lower stomach and spreading through his body when the waves of pleasure washed over him, tightening his hand around his cock through the aftershocks and biting his lips to stifle the whimpers forming in his throat.

Jesse came down slowly, happily satisfied. He remained laying on his bed until the cooling strips on his stomach began to turn unpleasantly sticky.

With a sigh, and still high on endorphins that pulled a stupid grin on his face, he jumped blissfully hopeful onto the shower, decided to dress up nicely and look for Hanzo.

 

* * *

 

“Lúcio, I’m low on health, could you-- hey!” Jesse grunted when a healing pack smacked his head, throwing off his hat.

Hana looked at him from her covering position on the other side of the room they were using to defend themselves from the other team. “Are you sure you didn’t do anything, Jesse? Because it seems to me like he is mad at you,” she asked before peering out and shooting a burst of bullets to the closest enemy.

Jesse shook his head, confused, opening the pack and checking in the small holo-screen in his wrist how his stats recovered.

He hadn't seen Hanzo for two days, dread and misery growing bigger in his gut, and to make it worse Lúcio was mad at him for something he didn’t even understand.

Jesse sighed, resigned, focusing on the task on hand. He could try to look for the archer when the training and the meeting after it were done, though he had the feeling he wouldn’t find Hanzo anywhere.

 

* * *

 

Jesse was desperate. The feeling in his gut telling him to do _something_ about Hanzo turned into a constant pool of anxiety in his chest when the archer vanished into thin air.

Lúcio had told everyone during breakfast that the dragons were going through a strange case of flu and that that explained their weird behavior. But Jesse knew an excuse better than anyone, being him the first to use them every time.

So, after pretending not to be worried and about to freak out because Hanzo was giving a well-deserved cold shoulder, he decided to use his last resource.

“Ey, Genji!”  
  
  


Jesse went back inside, his mood souring after his chat with Genji. He had thought he could get some answers, but his hopes died as Genji basically told him to leave his brother alone.

He dragged his feet to his room, where he collected his bottle of whiskey. It was too cold to go drink in his usual spot behind the comm tower, so Jesse decided to sit in one of the couches of the rec room.

He knew he should have talked sooner with the archer about what had happened, but his stupid ass kept making excuses not to do so. He stopped at the entrance of the room when he saw it was already occupied.

“Night, Jackass,” he rumbled with a tip of his hat, going to sit in a different couch than Jack to nurse his alcohol, not caring to take a glass with him.

The ex-commander glared at him as an answer, going back to read on his tablet and drink from his tumbler. Jesse just snuggled deeper in the couch, popped his bottle, and took a long gulp.

The longer he was there, reducing the liquid in the bottle and increasing his dark mood, the harder his deprecating thoughts hit his mind. He _knew_ he should have done something, he had had tons of opportunities to do so. While having breakfast with Hanzo, during the training sessions, during the mission in Greece. And yet, he had chickened out every time, seeing the light in Hanzo’s eyes and the smile in his face grow smaller with each moment they were together.

No wonder the noodles had growled at him, tired of his bullshit.

A loud sigh got his attention. Jesse raised his sight, finding Jack looking at him with an amused face.

“Alright, kid, spill it out,” the soldier said, placing his tablet in the coffee table in front of him. “If you are going to spread your sour mood around, the least you can do is tell me why.”

Jesse snorted, moving the bottle in slow circles to shake the liquor inside.

“I’d say that, since you are here and not where you usually go to drink, my bet is that _someone_ decided not to accompany you.”

Jesse glared at Jack, scowling when the man spread a smug grin. Being the mature man he was, Jesse decided to take another drink instead of answering.

“Hey,” Jack called again, dropping the smile to look seriously at him. “Did something happen?”

“Nothin’ happened,” Jesse grunted.

“Hm. I see.” Jack sipped from his tumbler. “You know, to fix the thing that didn’t happen, usually talking is enough. And apologizing.”

Jesse tensed, ready to snap before he reconsidered it. He dropped his shoulders with a sigh. “Yeah, you’re probably right. For once.”

“Whatever the problem is, it’s never too late, until it’s actually too late,” Jack murmured. Jesse saw him rubbing unconsciously his left thumb against his right forearm where he knew Gabe’s soulmark was.

Jesse looked at him, pensive. “Do you regret it? Not talkin’ about whatever the problem was,” he explained when Jack looked back at him.

He thought he had crossed a line when Jack remained silent for a few seconds, watching warily how he started to take off his gloves.

Jesse observed how the man in front of him unzipped the cuffs of the sleeves and rolled them up, revealing the pair of black wings he had, one on each forearm.

“I regret not going to beat that stubborn ass to talk _now_ ,” Jack replied, his fingers running again over the mark.

Jesse snapped his eyes up to Jack’s face, almost hearing the gears of his head scratching and grinding against each other to try to understand what he was saying.

Jack watched him impassively while he recollected his thoughts. Jesse got up and approached him, extending his hand towards Jack’s arms without getting to touch him. There, under his very own eyes, and with Jack letting him see, he saw how the black feathers that formed the wings glistened with an erratic pattern, the oily sheen making them stand out against Jack’s pale skin and showing that their owner was still alive.

“How-- when…” Jesse stuttered, dropping his body in the free space of Jack’s couch when his knees couldn’t support him any longer.

“Very recently,” Jack said, pulling down the sleeves and grabbing his gloves. “I found him-- well, he found me actually, same day Ana got to me. He was so different… I guess he found a way to block the bond, I didn’t feel him in all these years.” Jack sighed, rubbing down his face with one of his hands. “Ana, Winston and I are working on it. We will inform you all about it soon,” he said with a harsher tone, clearly wanting to drop the subject. “We were talking about you and your mopping ass anyway.”

Jesse shook his head, trying to process the bomb Jack had dropped. _Gabe was alive_?

“I-- well, I don’t have a soulmate, it's not the same,” he croaked.

“But you have someone you have aggravated and is ignoring you, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Jack, as accurate as always. He didn’t get to be the Overwatch Commander for nothing. Jesse had hated back in the day when those piercing blue eyes looked at him, and he still hated having his attention now.

He couldn’t deny Jack was right though.

Jesse slumped against the couch, pulling down his hat to cover his face. “He has been avoidin’ me,” he muttered.

Jack snorted. “And I guess you didn’t put much effort looking for him either.” He chuckled again when Jesse shook his head. “Well, then you know what to do.”

Jesse hummed. “Yeah. I guess I do.” he glanced al Jack from under the brim of his hat. If he was a mess because the guy he had a crush with was ignoring him, Jesse couldn't start to imagine what could it be to have your soulmate blocking your bond for so long. “What are you gonna do about Gabe?”

“I don’t know, kid,” Jack murmured.

“Maybe follow your own advice, old man.”

Jack snorted. “Yeah. That could be a good point to start.”

“Hey. If you need some help…”

“I know,” said Jack, gratitude softening his husky voice. “I know you two were close. But first I need to figure out what to do.”

Jesse hummed, grabbing again his bottle to mull about what they just talked, falling into an agreeable silence while they pondered about their own business.

When they said their good night a while after, leaving to their rooms, Jesse had made his mind that the next day, no matter what, he would talk with Hanzo and get an answer.

 

* * *

 

As the past days, Jesse showered, trimmed his beard, brushed his hair, and put on the clothes he had left prepared the previous night hanging off a hanger to not get it wrinkled, cleaning his boots his belt before leaving the room.

He knew the silly ritual he had adopted, going over the discourse he had prepared, improved and memorized to release as soon as he saw Hanzo couldn’t summon the archer out of whatever corner he had decided to hide. But he still hoped it could work, and whenever it did, he would be prepared. And looking good.

His hope gad deflated after checking, once again, that Hanzo wasn’t in the kitchen for breakfast. What was a surprise was that Genji and Lúcio were missing too, though Jesse assumed the lovebirds were just late.

  


He had left Winston’ office after a short meeting, and he was walking toward the training room to do some rounds when he heard someone chatting and laughing approaching him.

“He looked tired, right?” Jesse heard Mei around the corner. “Even if it’s the dragons the ones that got sick, it makes sense it affects him somehow.”

He perked a bit, increasing his pace when he heard her mention the dragons. If she had seen them, then Hanzo should be around too.

“Yeah. It was good to see him out of his room. Though you have to agree with me that a dragon flu is something funny.”

Jesse saw the grin in Hana’s face just as they met in the corner of the two meeting corridors.

“Mornin’ ladies,” he said with a tip of his hat and an easy smirk on his face, the girls saluting back.

“Hey cowboy, the older ninja is back,” informed Hana while pointing at her back with her thumb. “He is cleaning his bow, I thought you’d want to know,” she added with a wink before continuing her way, a flustered Mei at her side.

“You are horrible,” Jesse heard Mei reprimanding her, rolling his eyes when Hana just snorted.

Jesse felt a sudden wave of nerves run through his body, his heart running wild in his chest. Exhilarated and with a tingling sensation running under his skin, he took a deep breath before walking towards the training room.

He entered the place, squeezing his hands to calm his nerves before approaching the figure that was working in one of the tables. Jesse stopped in his tracks, breath hitching in his throat and any rational thought leaving his mind when he noticed that Hanzo, who still didn’t acknowledge his presence, had his hair untied and down his back like a silky cascade.

He had never noticed how long it was, Hanzo always wearing it tied in a small bun, but seeing it now Jesse only wanted to run his fingers through it.

Clearing his throat, he approached Hanzo cautiously when he saw the archer flinch.

“Mornin’, darlin’,” he said, taking off his hat and brushing his fingers through his hair to look presentable.

“McCree.” Hanzo didn’t look at him when he spoke, keeping himself busy reattaching the bowstring on its place.

Well, he deserved it. _Just say your speech, McCree_. “I’ve been lookin’ for you, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. “Lúcio told us about the cold you got?”

Hanzo only hummed.

Jesse shifted from one foot to the other, the silence growing in awkwardness. “Look, I wanted to talk to you. And I know I shoulda done it already but--” He tightened his hands around the brim of his hat, nervousness tensing him when his mind emptied, the speech he had prepared completely forgotten. “I-- I have to say, Hanzo, a lot of things have happened since you arrived. Some bad, some good for sure.”

His stutter got worse when the archer tensed in front of him, his back a taut line ready to snap. _Shit. Just say it, you damn idiot_. “And the last mission we had together, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about it. It's been a while since I did this, this is such a mess,” he murmured rubbing his face with his hand before looking intently at Hanzo. “What I’m trying to say, that was a hell of a kiss, darlin’, and would like to repeat it again, if you know what I mean?”

Hanzo looked at him with wide eyes, and something froze in Jesse’s chest. That was not the face he expected to see, and the brain-to-mouth filter he had, that didn’t work very well in a normal situation anyway, decided to completely disconnect. “Maybe even go further, ‘cause sweetheart you felt really good between me and that w--”

One second Jesse was looking at Hanzo, his heart dropping to his feet when he noticed the glassy eyes and pained face the archer had, and the next one he was with his ass on the floor and two enormous, fierce dragons growling at him and threatening to rip him to pieces with their long, sharpened teeth.

They growled once more before retreating after his master, leaving the training room in such haste that he forgot his weapon.

Jesse watched how the back of the archer disappeared when he crossed the door, his heart wrenching in his chest when he noticed Genji looking at him with a fierce scowl in his face.

Awesome. He not only made a fool of himself in front of Hanzo, but he got an audience. Sighing, he got to his feet intending to retrieve his hat, suddenly finding himself pinned against the closest wall by a very angry, glowy in green Genji. With a growly, enormous dragon behind him.

“I’m going to kill you, McCree,” Genji snarled, pushing him harder against the wall.

“Okay, take a turn partner, you’re not the only one,” Jesse grunted, trying to release himself from the embrace without result.

“I thought you were a decent man, McCree. What the fuck do you think you are doing with my brother?” Ramen growled over them, his lips trembling when showing his teeth.

“Besides putting myself in an embarrasin’ situation?” he wheezed. “Huh, Genji, I know you are givin’ me the shovel talk, which I totally deserve but, don't ya think you could relax a little? I can’t breath.”

Genji scoffed, incredulous, the frown pulling his skin and making the usually almost invisible scars on his face more prominent. “You think this is a joke? My brother is not a pawn, McCree. He is not your toy!”

Jesse widened his eyes, shocked. “What the hell are you talkin’ about? I was playin’ no game here! I was tryin’ to ask him out, damn it!”

Genji glared at him, anger reddening his face. “Cut the bullshit, McCree!”

“It is no bullshit! Why the hell do you think I've been lookin’ for him? I just-- I just wanted to ask for a date,” he murmured, slumping his shoulders. “I guess I have my answer now, with him ignorin’ me and runnin’ out,” he added, defeated.

“You-- you wanted a date.” Genji relaxed a fraction of his grip, but Jesse was still trapped. He looked cautiously at his friend, seeing a myriad of emotions run over his face. “You wanted a date with my brother.”

“I know I'm not a jackpot but dang, do you have to say it like that?” Jesse asked, wounded.

“But… but you-- he--” Genji finally released him, taking a few steps back and cursing in Japanese while Ramen looked at him with curiosity shining in his eyes, all the growls and snarls forgotten.

Jesse put his clothes back in place, eyeing his hat but not risking moving to collect it just in case.

“All right,” Genji said, looking at him again with a determined face. “You are going to explain me everything.”

 

* * *

 

Hanzo ignored his brother when exiting the training room. At one point he started to run, not sure where, but wanting to put distance between himself and the cowboy.

Sex. McCree was interested in having sex with him. Anger and shame burned in his chest and reddened his cheeks, stopping his run when he found himself out of breath.

Hanzo heard the dragons approaching him, their big bodies occupying the luckily empty corridor. Tears burned running down his cheeks, his body trying to relieve him of the stress accumulated the past days.

He stayed there, biting his lips to quiet the whimpers that wanted to escape, his body tense and his hands squeezed until he managed to recompose himself with some deep breaths. Hanzo cleaned his face with rage, the sleeves of the hoodie drying the trails the tears had left down his cheeks.

He turned around to go back to his room when Athena called him through the closest speaker.

“Agent Shimada, you requested to be alerted when doctor Ziegler returned to the base,” the AI said. “She requires your presence in the med bay.”

He glanced up to where Athena’s camera was, a red dot blipping at him. “All right,” he nodded.

The question of when did the doctor arrive crossed briefly his mind, but the sudden idea of having the bond broken drowned everything, speeding up again to go towards Angela’s office with Udon and Soba following him eagerly.

 

* * *

 

Running through the corridors that led to the med bay, Jesse could feel his heart was about to explode in his chest. _Scared_ , that’s what he was.

If what Genji had said was true…

Slamming his hand against the scanner, he cursed when the door didn’t open as fast as he wanted. “C’mon! Athena!”

He squeezed his bulkiness through the small opening, not waiting for the door to open completely to pass through. Jesse approached hastily the last door, slowing down when he heard voices coming out of the office.

Silently, he moved closer, trying to calm down the deafening rhythm of his heart.

“And the dragons did what?” he heard Angela, incredulity painting his voice.

“They tried to burn it from within,” replied Hanzo.

Jesse squeezed his lips in a thin line at his dull, plain tone.

“And then you fainted?”  
  
“A few days later, yes. That is when we found out we felt better with them being like this,” the archer explained.

“Hey, I know I am no expert on this stuff,” interrupted Lúcio. “I have been binge-reading a lot since last night, and half the stuff I didn’t really get it, but a thing I know is energy waves!”

Jesse heard some rustle before Lúcio spoke again.

“May I, doc?”

“Yes, yes of course!”

“So, here you see a normal graphic of a bond.”

Jesse kneeled and approached the closest window, peeking through a corner and luckily finding everyone with their backs to him, Hanzo sitting tensely on a stretcher with the dragons squeezing their size to be able to surround him.

“Now, here you have my bond with Genji,” Lúcio said, tapping something onto the screen in front of them, a thicker, green line pulsing brightly.

“Oh, that’s interesting,” murmured Angela, approaching the screen to examine it.

“Right? So, in this one,” Lúcio signed at the graphic above his where two intertwined red lines pulsed rhythmically. “Is a normal couple, where both send and receive through their bond, right? Here,” he pointed at his own graphic, “you can see something similar, yes? But this other line is different,” he followed it with his finger, a slightly darker green around the other two.

“Is that Ramen?” asked Ángela, awed. “I never thought about it, but it makes sense, yes. It makes your bond--”

“Brighter, yes. I mean, I have never been bonded before, but that is a perfect representation of how it feels. He makes it more… vivid? Stronger,” he said quizzically, Ángela nodding at her words.

“Which leads me to this,” he said, tapping again the screen and adding a new graphic. A gleaming blue line pulsed in front of them, the waves roaming through it running only in one direction.

Jesse narrowed his eyes, seeing a darker, dull blue line interweaved with it, surrounded by two purple ones. It pulsed intermittently, but the waves didn’t move

“Now, this is why I put you under the scanner for so long, Hanzo, because this… this was a mess to decipher. Had to adjust the system to get it right,” Lúcio explained. “Keep in mind it’s only a theory, but seeing this it makes sense? So… this is you, Hanners,” he pointed to the line surrounded in purple. “With the dragons. And this is the person bonded to you.”

Jesse covered his mouth with his hand.

“In theory, a one side bond shouldn’t be a problem, but here is what I think has happened. The guys tried to fry the bond but actually overloaded it. Energy has to go somewhere, it doesn’t just disappear. And since you didn’t mark him you couldn’t spend it sending info through the bond. So, my guess is that it reinforced his side of the bond so you started to feel him. And the thing with their size… well, normal bonds don’t have two enormous spirits pumping energy into it, so you are receiving feelings while wanting _not_ to, plus suppressing your own, and these two sharing their souls with you.”

“So you are dealing with three different souls, yours and the dragons; receiving  information from your soulmate but sending nothing back,” nodded Ángela, “which means all that extra energy has to go somewhere. Do they take it from you, when they are in their bigger size?” she asked Hanzo, who nodded wordlessly.

“I see. So it is… bouncing, at lack of a better word, between you and the unfinished bond, so they use it to maintain their bigger form because if not it could overload you again and make you faint! Yes, yes, this idea makes sense, Lúcio,” she said in agreement.

Jesse slipped down under the window, sitting on the floor.

“But that complicates things, Hanzo. I can dissolve a normal bond without trouble, but this?” he heard Ángela speaking again. “This I have never seen before, and I will need time to prepare it. What if I break your bond with the dragons? What if it affects you with future bonds? I-- I need time, Hanzo,” she sounded almost desperate. “I know you want it out now, but, I can’t do it blindly.”

“I will help with the research, Hanners. Two people work faster than one,” Lúcio said determinedly.

“All right,” muttered Hanzo. Jesse heard them talking a bit longer, his mind incapable of processing their words.

A few moments later, when he heard nothing coming from the room, he rose to his feet, and with his heart pounding crazily in his chest, he approached the door.

He was received with the aggressive growls of the dragons, his presence snapping Hanzo’s attention towards him with widened eyes.

Jesse unable to speak, observed him, his rigid figure sitting tensely with the dragons wrapped around him. Hanzo had tied up his hair after he had escaped the training room running away from him, his hoodie laying beside him in the gurney, the right sleeve of his t-shirt still rolled up.

Jesse looked at him, squeezing his lips when he saw the despair in Hanzo’s face, his reddened eyes and the dark bags under them. His chest tightened when the archer’s taut body tensed impossibly more when he roamed his eyes down to his right arm, where he could see the mark with his own eyes.

A tense silence filled the space between them when he took a step towards Hanzo, ignoring the snarls of Udon and Soba. Jesse roamed his eyes over the splash and whirls of colors that covered Hanzo’s upper arm, trying to decipher what it meant. The soul mark was supposed to represent the person for whom it appeared, and dread weighted in his stomach when all he could come up with was that it was a tangled _mess_.

Exactly like him.

Jesse felt the nasty sting of tears forming in his eyes, looking back at Hanzo and hating the mask he had forced his face into.

“Hanzo,” he croaked, flinching when Hanzo’s shoulders jumped. “Darlin’, I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know. Goddamnit, I kissed you and there was nothin’ when I looked at you. I dunno when this happened bu--”

“Stop it, McCree.”

Hanzo’s snarl surprised him, shutting him up for a second.

“But Hanzo--”

“I said stop it! Drop the facade, McCree.” Hanzo’s raised voice was accompanied with a growl of the dragons.

Jesse shook his head, astonished. “What facade, for fuck’s sake. And could you two stop it? Ramen already threatened to rip my head off, ok?” The dragons only growled louder.

“Hanzo, hear me, please,” he begged.

“Why should I do that? So you can feed me more lies? What are you going to say, McCree? That you really want this? Or that you would love to have sex with me?” mocked Hanzo, rolling down his sleeve with too much force and scowling at him. “So you can control every move I make, know what I am up to every time?”

Jesse widened his eyes at the hate Hanzo used to throw his words at him, cold running through his veins and freezing him in place. He looked back at the archer, speechless, his mind trying to figure out when he had fucked up so badly to make Hanzo think that way.

“What made you think I’d do somethin’ so horrible to you?” Jesse hated how fragile his voice sounded, seeing the opportunity to amend the situation slipping away.

“What other reason would you have to approach me if not, gunslinger? You let it clear the first time we met, that you could keep an eye on me to keep everyone safe.”

Jesse felt the blood leave his face, Hanzo’s words stealing his breath as if he had punched him.

Time slowed down, his brain recollecting every interaction they had had since then, the question of why Hanzo could think that immediately answered. _Because he never stated the opposite_.

Jesse just had approached him one day after another of Genji’s lectures about how he treated his brother. He never apologized, just went to talk to him like he did with everyone else in the base, because everyone else did the same with the archer. They all talked about him, so he just wanted to check on his own.

And he only found a man that regretted his past, that tried his best to restore his relationship with his brother and helped his teammates to the best of his abilities, even if that meant putting his life at risk during the missions. Jesse suddenly remembered Hanzo’s words during one of their talks, _trusting no one and second-guessing everyone’s motives is what kept me alive_.

Hanzo had told him already that he didn’t trust people, and still Jesse had managed to mess everything up by not clearing the situation from the beginning.

He shook his head, trying to come up with words to explain that everything was just a mistake, but Hanzo spoke first.

“Who would want to be with such a mess, anyway?” Hanzo said with a snarl raising his upper lip.

Jesse reeled back when his own words were thrown at him. _He was there that night_ , he realized, the tightness around his chest constricting even more.

“No. no, no, no, Hanzo. That’s not-- shit, this is all a mess,” he whimpered, rubbing his face to clear his thoughts. “Just-- please, hear me out. I can explain, I swear. You-- you can feel me, right? Please, I want to tell only the truth, this is a big, gigantic, fuckin’ mistake,” he begged, pouring his heart into his words.

“I don’t know when I marked you, Hanzo. That was a complete accident. When I kissed you I thought that was the first time I touched you, and I was freakin’ scared I had marked _your face_ ,” he said, pulling his hair a bit and starting to pace around the room. “Because after all these months of us talkin’ I thought maybe-- that maybe we could be soulmates.” He was unable to look back at the archer, but he was decided to explain everything, noticing the silence between them when the dragons stopped growling.

“I thought--” he stopped, a single loathing chuckle escaping his lips. “I thought that you were goin’ to kill me for paintin’ your face. So when I saw nothin’ there I… ran. Because I was scared. And disappointed. And went to talk to Lena,” he risked looking at Hanzo when he said that, finding the archer looking back at him with narrowed eyes, the dragons behind him following his movements.

Jesse returned to his pacing. “I told her about that, referrin’ to _me_ , Hanzo. Because I’ve seen you all these months, and not the way you think I did. Of course I kept my eyes on you. Because you are my teammate. My friend. And you bein’ the best good-lookin’ thing around to look at kinda helped, but was never the only reason. I’ve seen you work with the rest of the team, I’ve seen you talk and fix things with your brother. I’ve seen you improve, and evolve, and open yourself to all of us. To me,” Jesse murmured the last part, stopping in his tracks to rub his face again.

He felt his heart breaking in his chest thinking about his next words. “So I said that because how could you be with a mess like me,” he said waving a hand at himself, the deprecating feeling in his chest breaking his words at the end. He took a deep breath to focus again. “Lena gave me a talk after that, pulled my head out of my ass. That if I didn’t put a mark on you didn’t mean we couldn’t have somethin’. But me, bein’ the coward I am, said nothin’,” he shook his head, regretting all over again not going to talk to Hanzo right after the debrief was done.

Jesse turned his back on Hanzo, unable to look at him to hear that he didn’t care and wanted the bond removed. He covered his face with his hands, fighting the _need_ to cry his heart out and trying to make his lungs work by taking a big gulp of air before facing his soulmate.

He dropped his shoulders, defeated. “No wonder your mark is such a mess, considerin’ who you are bonded with,” he said, turning around and stopping his approach when he found Hanzo looking back at him with a disconcerting frown.

  


Hanzo had been really close to yield to the dragons’ petition of letting them maim McCree, but something in his eyes stopped him from doing so.

Against his better judgment, ignoring Udon and Soba cursing in his mind, he allowed McCree to speak without interrupting him, sitting tensely in the gurney and ready to bolt.

Apprehension filled him and the dragons as they heard the gunslinger talk, cold spreading through his chest and freezing him in his seat. Udon and Soba got quiet, unmoving from behind him.

Opening willingly for the first time to the bond, Hanzo let McCree’s emotions reach him. His breath hitched in his throat when they washed over him. The man was utterly terrified, his anxiety crawling under Hanzo’s skin.

He observed the gunslinger pacing in front of him, the guilt weighing down his shoulders, the nervousness making him stutter, the little tremble that shook his hands when he ran his fingers through his hair.

Hanzo flinched in his seat. McCree was not scared of being discovered. He was afraid of having fucked things up. He was afraid of _losing Hanzo_.

His heart stuttered, a familiar pain blossoming in his chest. Hanzo couldn’t get his hopes up again, he had suffered too much already.  
  
_Could it be true?_ What if he was being lured into a false sense of security?

The dragons were surprisingly quiet in his head, barely breathing behind him in their haste to go unnoticed. They didn’t know what to do either, as lost as he felt.

“It is not a mess,” Hanzo said when McCree glanced at him after he finished talking. “It makes sense to me.” He didn’t explain further though.

Hanzo could see him trying to make himself smaller, not daring to take a step closer. _Afraid_.

His mind was racing all over the place, thinking, going over the past weeks again and again, trying to read the memories under a new light. Hate, hope, despair, _fear_ , fought their way inside him.

Hanzo shook his head to clear his thoughts, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He wasn’t sure about what he was about to do, but he had been a coward for too long already. He was ready to fight back.

“You are…” he tried to find the right word, seeing McCree thin his lips once again. “You are not lying,” Hanzo said, praying for not been making a mistake. “You are dangerous, McCree.”

He saw McCree squeezing his hands at his sides before releasing them, avoiding his eyes and nodding.

“You hold in your hands the power to destroy me.” Hanzo’s voice sounded raw to his own ears, but he needed McCree to understand the risk he was about to take. “You almost did already. But… there is truth in your words, I can not deny what I felt through the bond.”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If this was all an unfortunate mistake like you claim,” Hanzo saw McCree perking up, sensing the flick of hope that filled him, “I need you to understand that.”

McCree nodded with widened eyes, eagerness and anticipation bringing up some color to his cheeks.

“And, I need time. To think about this.” He raised his hand when McCree opened his mouth. “I _need_ it, McCree. We need to figure out how to solve it, and find a way to straight whatever this is,” he said waving a hand between them. “But I have to consider everything on my own before that. Can I have that?”

“You’re right. Shit, Hanzo, I’m so sorry about this. Bond or not, I should have cleared this up with you since the beginnin’, and not assume that you knew I wasn’t trying to monitor you,” McCree said eagerly. “I really like havin’ you as a friend, Hanzo. And I’d love to save that at least.”

McCree glanced at him before taking a step back. “I’ll leave you alone then. Just… let me know if you need me. Or want to talk. Anythin’.”

Hanzo nodded, watching McCree opening his mouth again as if he was about to add something. He changed his mind and left the room without a word, the last glance he threw at him making Hanzo’s chest tighten.

He had looked lost, a weird mix of sadness and hope flicking through the bond before he retreated.

 _So, we were wrong?_ Udon said timidly.

Soba whimpered. _I think we all misunderstood what was going on, and took wrong choices based on wrong interpretations of the situation._

 _So we were wrong_ , Udon stated.

“A series of unfortunate events,” Hanzo murmured while collecting his hoodie and putting it on, still trying to understand and take in what had been said. “I need--”

 _Time. Yes,_ said Udon. _I just hope it works._  
_  
_ _He seemed honest_ , Soba added. I kind of regret growling at him now.

Hanzo remained silent, feeling emotionally drained. He left the med bay with the dragons behind him grumbling between them.

  
  


That night Hanzo showed up in the kitchen for dinner, nodding at everyone when they greeted him and thanking them for their good wishes and a good recovery of his “dragon flu” while eyeing their big figures behind him.

He saw Lúcio getting up on the corner of his eye, a frown on his face when he saw him approaching the table where McCree was sitting at, his anger turning into astonishment when Genji stopped him with a hand on his arm to make him sit again.

Hanzo sat in front of the gunslinger with a determined face and two eager dragons trying to squeeze themselves over his shoulders without hitting anything or anyone, observing how McCree tampered the surprise that widened his eyes for a second, looking back at him warily before offering a tentative smile.

“Greetings,” murmured Hanzo with the dragons loudly growling in unison and making everyone jump on their seats. For the first time, he was glad to be able to feel McCree and the pleasant surprise that filled him.  
  
“Howdy, partner.”

Maybe it could work after all.

 

* * *

 

Five days later, it wasn’t working at all.

They had worked and trained together, slowly trying to go back to their routine. But Hanzo could feel McCree’s fear and containment through the bond, afraid of telling or doing something that could make him recoil.

And Hanzo, unconsciously, had reacted the same way, cautious with his words and actions, their past jokes and sassiness forgotten.

They were sitting together in the common room, a half-empty bottle of whiskey sitting in the table and an awkward silence hanging between them when Jesse sighed aloud.

“Y’know, this doesn’t work, Hanzo,” he waved his free hand between them. “I ain’t tryin’ to rush nothin’, but…. I’m inhibited here. I dunno if talkin’ to you as before will help or not, I wanna do things right, but this just feels so--”

“Uncomfortable,” finished Hanzo for him.

“Yeah.”

Hanzo hummed in agreement, drinking from his tumbler and scratching Udon’s chin, having him sprawled on his legs and Soba stretched and snoring softly over his shoulders.

“I think,” he started, feeling McCree’s eyes glued on him, “that you should just do it. Act as you always do. Feeling you so afraid of saying something wrong affects me too, McCree, and we enter a vicious cycle of doing nothing,” he said, glancing at the gunslinger. “I am not going to break. I can return the punch if needed.”

McCree gaped at that, but Hanzo spoke first, a playful tone filling his voice to indicate he was not being serious. “Or I can just tell you if something goes wrong. I think I play with an unfair advantage here, being able to feel you.”

“I-- yeah. Yeah, ok,” he nodded.

Hanzo looked at him, still noticing his nervousness. He pondered for a moment before asking “What do you have to do tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? So soon?”

Hanzo rolled his eyes. “Yes, McCree. Why? Did you expect to wait longer? Only talk to each other at high noon?”

He had to suppress the chuckle that threatened to escape his lips when he saw McCree sputtering indignantly.

“I’m in charge of doin’ groceries tomorrow,” McCree muttered against the rim of his tumbler, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

“All right. May I come with you?” Hanzo could forever deny the nervousness that filled him when he asked the question.

McCree stared at him for a few seconds before answering. “Yes, yes of course. An extra pair of hands always come in handy.”

Hanzo hummed again, the perfect picture of poise and calmness.

 _What if it doesn’t work?_ Asked Udon, worried.

 _What if it does?_ Hanzo asked back, taking a sip of whiskey.

Soba snorted from her position. _Since when you are that optimistic, young one?_

Hanzo considered it for a moment. _Genji was right. I can enjoy things. And the only way of moving on is actually making an effort to move on_.

Udon raised his head to look at him. _Since when do we pay attention to what Genji says?_

Soba just snickered, grabbing McCree’s attention.

 _He has matured. Sometimes he says the right things,_ thought Hanzo, spinning the liquid in his glass while a crooked smile spread on his face. _Just do not let him know that or it will get to his head_.

 _Like if we wanted to hear Ramen bragging about it_ , huffed Soba.

Hanzo noticed then McCree was looking at them.

“They are small,” pointed the gunslinger.

Hanzo looked at the dragons. They had tried to shrink their size just before he left his room for his meeting with McCree, the three of them surprised that it didn’t hurt. They lost no time to wrap themselves around Hanzo’s neck like a gleaming scarf, chirping happily.

“Yes. They only managed to do so before I came here,” he explained. “We are still testing if they can maintain this size and for how long, but it seems they can adopt this form again.”

“Huh.”

“We do not know what changed if that is what you were about to ask,” Hanzo said, watching McCree nod. “They are just glad they can change forms again.”  
  
“I bet,” McCree chuckled, glancing at Soba and risking, ever so slowly, to approach his hand at her.

Hanzo felt his giddiness when he was able to pat her head, feeling the knot of apprehension in his own chest loosen.

 

* * *

  
“There you are! Thought it could take you longer. The truck is loaded, so we can--” McCree widened his eyes when Hanzo turned around to look at him.

The gunslinger closed his mouth when he noticed he had been staring at him with it open, a blush creeping up his face and reddening his cheeks.

Hanzo felt suddenly self-conscious, touching the silver barrel that now adorned the bridge of his nose and averting McCree’s eyes.

He had told McCree, after they finished their grocery shopping, that he needed to attend some personal business, both of them agreeing on meeting back at the truck in an hour.

Hanzo had entered the tattoo parlor with his best indifferent face, feeling like a jittering mess about what he was about to do.

Piercing his ears and his nose wasn’t that big of a deal in the end. Letting himself have something he had wanted to do since his teenage years, just because he _could_ , kind of was.

But then, having McCree watching him silently, made him doubt his decision.

Insecure, Hanzo ran his gloved fingers over his undercut. “Does it look that bad?”

McCree shook his head, clearing his throat and rearranging his serape. “To be honest, it’s quite the opposite, darlin’,” he mumbled, his turn to avoid his eyes.

Hanzo looked at him with a raised eyebrow, the other joining it in their attempt to fuse with his hairline and heat rising up his face when he felt McCree through the bond.

_Oh._

“Ah. That is… good?” Hanzo held his need to facepalm after such eloquence on his behalf.  
  
_At least we know he is into you_ , whispered Udon in his head, trying to cheer him up.

 _Idiot, that is of no use if the cowboy only likes his body_ , grunted Soba, like if Hanzo couldn’t hear them.

McCree chuckled embarrassed, pulling his hat down to cover his face. Hanzo followed him towards the car, a different silence sitting awkwardly between them.

  


That night, when he went to meet McCree for a drink in the kitchen since the rest of teammates were watching a movie in the common room, he observed with a raised eyebrow how the gunslinger pushed a plain, brown box towards him.

Hanzo sat in front of him, flicking his gaze between McCree and the box before slowly opening it, humming surprised when he found a piece of his favorite chocolate cake inside beside a slice of apple pie.

“I saw you lookin’ at it when he passed the bakin’ store,” McCree explained sheepishly with a soft grin on his face. “Thought it could be a good night snack, with somethin’ warm since it’s so cold now.”

Hanzo raised his eyes to look at him, sensing a flick of nervousness accompanying his always warmth presence.

“Thank you,” he murmured taking the desserts out, hearing McCree hum before getting up to get them the coffees and feeling him beaming through the bond, tapering down the crippling doubt that threatened to fill his mind about McCree’s intentions.

He could feel McCree's eyes glued on him when he returned with the mugs and sat in front of him. “You are staring,” he stated, adding sugar to his coffee and taking a bite of his cake.

“Sorry, darlin’. I was admirin’ your nose.” McCree didn't sound sorry at all. “Ah, damn, sorry about that too.” That time he sounded sincere, falling into his usual manner without noticing.

Hanzo considered it for a moment, glancing sheepishly at McCree. “It is fine,” he murmured, feeling the heat rising up his face.

McCree looked surprised for a second before a shy smile adorned his lips.“That’s good to hear, sweetheart,” he replied with a new pet name before focusing on his pie.

Hanzo said nothing else, choosing to bask into the soft glow that came through the soul bond instead.

 

* * *

 

Hanzo raised an eyebrow at McCree when he hurriedly turned off the tablet he had been writing something at, placing down the cups of tea and sitting in front of him.

“Damn, darlin’, I’m goin’ to have to put a bell on you,” McCree tried to joke, rubbing mockingly at his chest.

Hanzo stared at him intently while calmly sipping his tea, enjoying the heat that warmed up his cold fingers. He let the gunslinger get a little fidgety before talking. “You were checking Jack’s reports,” he stated.

McCree widened his eyes before huffing, grabbing his own cup. “Tell me what your elf eyes see,” he muttered to himself.

Hanzo snorted, admiring the blush that raised up McCree’s cheeks. He had heard the disagreement the ex-Commander and McCree had had earlier, the gunslinger refusing to follow an order and Morrison leaving the meeting room with a load of tablets under his arm, cursing and grunting.

“I thought you hated him and refused to help him,” Hanzo said, tilting his head.

“Nah. Jack is an ass, but I don’t hate him,” shrugged McCree, tapping idly the disconnected tablet.

“Hm. Is it about Blackwatch again?”

McCree glanced at him before returning his eyes to the tea in front of him, his mouth pulled down.

Hanzo observed him through his silence, reading him through the bond instead and the emotions that he experienced. Betrayal, loyalty, sadness, anger. The impending need to help burning bright under them.

He couldn’t help but admire the man in front of him, a rugged, nonchalant cowboy that only minded his own business, but that worried about the others and about doing the right things.

Hanzo wondered, not for the first time, why McCree pretended not to care. He felt the sudden need to reassure him.

“You are a good man, McCree,” he said, averting McCree’s eyes feeling ashamed for not finding better words to express what he thought, but feeling satisfied when the gunslinger’s emotion changed to something warmer.

He raised his eyes to find McCree looking back, a soft smile adorning his mouth and his eyes.

Hanzo returned it, embracing the mix of McCree’s and his own feelings in his chest.

 

* * *

 

Jesse snorted to himself for the millionth time before he took a sip of his beer. They had been watching a movie with the rest of the team, something with explosions and impossible contortions that didn’t even dishevel the hair of the protagonist but that apparently everyone enjoyed.

He looked at Hanzo at his side to comment on the stupid thing when the words died on his lips. He observed, enthralled, how Hanzo had tucked himself against the armrest, his head resting on the back in such way that the metal on his nose caught the soft light of the room as he breathed.

Holding his own breath, Jesse took advantage of it. His heart clenched considering that Hanzo, that had been avoiding him not that long ago, felt comfortable enough in his presence to fall asleep. He admired Hanzo’s relaxed features, the usual frown between his brows gone and making him look a few years younger.

Jesse felt his fingers itch with the strong _want_ to touch Hanzo’s hair falling around his face, tightening them around his beer instead. Their relationship was still a work in process, and Jesse could never betray his trust touching him without permission.

Instead, Jesse took off his serape with slow movements to not awake Hanzo, and ever so carefully he draped it over him.

  


Hanzo opened his eyes when he felt someone briefly touching his arm. He found Jesse looking down at him with a soft smile, the room empty and silent.

“Howdy, sleepin’ beauty.”

He huffed at Jesse’s joke, getting up and frowning confused when he looked down and found the red serape covering him.

“C’mon, I’ll accompany you to your room. You seem about to fall asleep on your feet, darlin’.”

Hanzo walked past him, burrowing himself in the wool and inhaling Jesse’s warm smell that impregnated it. He felt a tentative hand touching him in the middle of his back, pushing him softly towards the door.

They walked in silence, Hanzo feeling his head stuffed with cotton and wanting just to get to his bed and sleep.

Only when they reached the door Hanzo tried to take off the serape to return it to his owner. Jesse pushed him again inside his room.

“Keep it, sweetheart,” he chuckled behind his back. “You can return it in the mornin’.”

Hanzo nodded his head, unable to find the words, or a good reason, to reject the idea. “Good night,” he managed to murmur, blinking owlishly to keep his eyes open.

McCree chuckled again, tipping his hat. “Night, darlin’.”

Hanzo heard the door closing and McCree’s spur walking away while he approached his bed. A small part in the back of his head knew he could regret it in the morning, but he only pulled off his shoes, crawled under the covers with McCree’s serape wrapped around him, and fell asleep as his head touched the pillow.  
  


Next morning Jesse opened the door of his room to go to the kitchen when he noticed something was on the floor.

Smiling to himself, he grabbed his perfectly folded serape, chuckling when he read the handwritten “ _thanks_ ” note on top.

 

* * *

 

Jesse saw Hanzo walking past the junk room he was at, running to the door to call for him when a sudden idea popped in his head.

“Hey, darlin’,” he said, grinning stupidly when Hanzo turned around and a small smile appeared on his face. “You busy?”

“Not anymore, no.”  
  
“Wanna help me with somethin’?” he asked, grabbing the tool case he had been looking for before seeing Hanzo.

“All right,” the archer nodded, a curious eyebrow raising before following him.

Jesse chuckled. “You’ll see.”

He guided him towards the garage, walking to the furthest corner where a big bulk covered with a protective plastic awaited. Jesse looked at Hanzo over his shoulder, winking at him before grabbing the plastic and pulling it out.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” he asked placing theatrically a hand over his heart and pointing at the red bike that was displayed in front of them.

Hanzo approached it, running a gloved hand over the seat before humming appreciatively. “It is a magnificent manufacture indeed,” he said looking at him, Jesse’s heart skipping a beat in his chest at the smug glint shining in the archer’s eyes.

He cleared his throat, taking off his hat and putting it over a near box. “I haven’t used her in a while, so I thought I’d check and clean her, y’know?”

“And you need my assistance?” Hanzo offered.

“Well, I’d use your help,” he said with a smirk, grabbing the toolbox again and passing it to Hanzo. “How about you give me the tools I need?”

A pair of blue, horned heads appeared on his shoulders. “All right.”

Jesse took off his serape, placing it on top of his hat, lamenting for a second having chosen his favorite shirt for that day. He rolled up the sleeves, the place warm enough to let him work comfortably without the pleasant weight of the wool around him.

They chatted amicably while he cleaned, oiled, and checked the bike’s motor. At one point he raised his head and saw Udon and Soba sitting on it, looking down at him curiously. He threw a wink at them before returning to work, feeling satisfied that those two were comfortable enough around him again to be that close without wanting to chew off his head.

Drying the sweat of his face with his forearm, he glanced at Hanzo, finding him looking anywhere but him and a blush reddening his face and his ears. The sight hitched his breath for a second. _Cute_.

“Everythin’ alright?” he asked, hating how sultry his voice sounded. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Hanzo uncomfortable. _Again_ , considering what he spilled through his stupid mouth when he had confessed how much he liked his piercings.

Hanzo looked at him, frowning before determination straightened his back. “You have oil in your face and your hands. And you rolled up the sleeves,” he said like his words should mean something.

Jesse stared back, puzzled, heat pooling down in his lower stomach when his brain caught up. “Darlin’, I reckon you’re tryin’ to make things equal, with you feelin’ me and all that. Especially after what I blurted out the other day about your--” he touched his own nose. “But… you don’t have to, this is not about forcin’ you to share things, not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Hanzo shook his head, the blush in his cheeks darkening. “I am not forcing myself,” he mumbled.

Jesse’s smile grew bigger, the temptation to mock the archer too strong to ignore. He could have done it before, and damn it if he didn’t want to do it then. “So… you like your men dirty and workin’ with their hands?”

He laughed when Hanzo groaned and covered his face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that,” he chuckled when Hanzo murmured against his palms.

Hanzo grunted before lowering his arms, mischief shining in his eyes. “I said, you have deft fingers.”

Jesse widened his eyes, surprised with Hanzo’s confession. He bit his lips and rearranged on the floor, his pants suddenly too tight after his body reacted to the images Hanzo's low voice raised in his mind.

“Now you’re doin’ that on purpose, darlin’,” he protested, hearing Hanzo snort. “I finished here. Have some mercy and go back before me, ok? Let me keep some of my dignity and do my walk of shame alone,” he begged.

“I did not know you still had dignity left on you, gunslinger,” Hanzo joked, getting up and collecting the dragons from the back of the bike where they were squawking with mirth.

Jesse pressed his hand against his heart in mock-offense. “Ouch. I'm dead. My spirit is leavin’ me.”

Hanzo laughed in his retreat, the two dragons looking at him and waving their little claws to say their goodbye.

 

* * *

 

“You are not funny, McCree,” protested Hanzo but doing nothing to release himself of the rope keeping his arms tight to his side.

“Hey, Jack said to get a partner for the trainin’, so I got the best sniper to watch my back from the heights,” Jesse said with a wink.

Hanzo looked at him unimpressed. “So you want me to keep you alive.”

“That’d be nice, yeah.”

“Hm. All right. With one condition,” he added.

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

“Teach me how to manage a lasso.”

The grin in Jesse’s face grew bigger when he nodded in agreement.

 

Being the skilled, fast-learning person he was, Jesse wasn’t surprised when Hanzo managed to lasso him in such a short time.

“I think I got you, gunslinger,” he grinned, rolling up the rope to bring Jesse closer to him.

“I reckon you did, darlin’,” Jesse said, moving willingly towards him.

They both chuckled embarrassedly when Jack demanded their attention to start the training, Jesse watching fondly the blush tinting Hanzo’s cheeks.

 

* * *

 

“So, it seems you two are close again,” Genji said, pretending to be casual and failing.

Hanzo rolled his eyes, collecting the beer he had to bring from the kitchen to watch a movie with the rest of the team. “We are getting there.”

“Hm.” Genji distributed the popcorn and the chips in two bowls, throwing the plastic into the bin. “Ángela is still working in her research. Mostly because she is interested in it, but, you know. If you end up needing it, that option is still open.”

Hanzo glanced at his brother before he dropped his shoulders, fighting the hopeful tone that wanted to fill his voice. “I do not think it will be necessary. But, thanks for letting me now.”

Genji pushed him gently, a smile tugging lightly his facial scars. “I’m glad to hear that. Whatever “there” you two are getting at.”

“And I’m glad Lúcio stopped trying to kill him with his eyes,” replied Hanzo, both of them chuckling together remembering the sight of the shorter paramedic trying to intimidate, and partially managing to, the taller gunslinger.

“What can I say, my man is feisty,” grinned Genji.

“You never told me what you said to him. In the training room,” Hanzo elaborated when his brother looked at him quizzically.

“Oh! Well, it worked, so it’s better if you never know,” Genji grinned, leaving him more curious.

They dropped the subject before entering the common room, the team cheering when they distributed the drinks.

Hanzo went to sit on the free space close to McCree, returning the smile which the gunslinger greeted him with when he offered a beer.

He allowed himself to wallow into the beaming feelings McCree was pouring without noticing into the bond, glancing at him before taking a sip of his own drink. They had been dancing around each other for almost a month now, growing confident with their interactions and slowly slipping back into their sassy replies and flirty comebacks.

Tightening his hand around the bottle, Hanzo felt McCree’s thigh push against his, relishing when he didn’t move it away.

Pressing back slightly, and looking at the gunslinger with a smirk on his face, Hanzo settled in the couch, knowing what he wanted to do.

 

* * *

 

Jesse ran his hand down his face, trying to push down the dread tightening his gut. He followed the mechanic movements he had been doing the last half hour: grabbing a box, taking it to the storage room, putting it in its place.

All to try to control the terror that filled him since he had seen Hanzo leaving the area following Ángela, a thick stack of papers and tablets between her arms.

Jesse tried to convince himself that it was a routine follow-up. Maybe Hanzo only was accompanying her to her office. Or he had a rash and needed a cream. Anything to push down, erase, _expel_ , the idea of Hanzo, despite their last month, wanting to dissolve the bond after all.

He closed his eyes, trying to control the sudden need to cry he felt. It was Hanzo’s choice, and he didn’t have the right to convince him otherwise.

Releasing the breath he had been holding, he decided that he should be happy for at least getting back his friendship.

It would hurt and sting for a fucking long time, but if that is what the archer wanted because he had no deeper feelings for him, Jesse was going to respect the hell out of that and deal with his feelings on his own.

  


* * *

 

Hanzo observed McCree moving around the kitchen from his place at their table, the gunslinger humming a song absently while preparing coffee for their afternoon snack.

He fiddled with his gloved fingers, following McCree with his eyes while he thought, for the millionth time that day, how to say what he wanted to say.

He went over all their last month interactions, his heart swelling in his chest and his skin prickling with anticipation. McCree had done nothing but respect his pace, letting him open up again at his own rhythm. They have trained, worked, eaten, and drank together, changing the silence between them into a chatty, comfortable space for both of them.

Hanzo had allowed himself to relish into McCree’s feelings to boost his own. Watching the man wander over the place to gather the things he needed Hanzo took the opportunity to run his eyes freely over him: the strong, calloused fingers that McCree had been careful to keep gloved to not touch him again without permission; the little stray of hair that always stood out behind his ear and gave him a soft appearance and that Hanzo died to run his fingers through; the little wrinkles of happiness that adorned his kind eyes whenever Jesse saw him, accompanied by the small pull in the corner of his mouth that preceded a bigger, brighter smile only for Hanzo.

How could he put all the feelings and emotions that run wildly filling his heart? How could he explain what all those little details and moments meant for him?

With his heart thrumming strongly in his ears, feeling overwhelmed and terrified, Hanzo pulled off his gloves before speaking.

“Jesse.”

He saw McCree spinning around sending sugar all over the countertop, staring at him with bulging eyes and gaping mouth.

“I want to touch you.”

“Wh--what??”

“I want to--” he tried to say again, but McCree interrupted him.

“No.No, the first thing you said,” he explained, taking a tentative step towards him.

Hanzo frowned confused, before realizing the name he had used.“Jesse,” he said, feeling more than hearing the little hitch in his soulmate’s breath.

“Jesse,” he repeated, getting up to meet him in the middle.

“Darlin’,” Jesse whispered, raising his hand and stopping with it mid-air, lowering it slowly and looking lost.

“I want to touch you,” Hanzo said again, seeing Jesse lower his eyes to his naked hands before snapping back to his face.

“Hanzo, are you sure? You don’t-- don’t have to, darlin’,” Jesse mumbled, shaking his head. “I thought you wanted to dissolve it,” he added it after a second.

Hanzo frowned again.

“I saw you with Ángela.”

He felt Jesse’s uneasiness, hurrying to explain. “I went to tell her in person I was no longer interested in the procedure, but that I would gladly let her scan the bond for her personal files if needed.”

Jesse’s relief was contagious, making Hanzo smile back when the gunslinger’s mood lightened. He saw how he hurried to unbutton his shirt, tapping at his chest right above his heart.

“I want it here,” he said, nervousness making his voice waver.

Hanzo looked at him, somehow not surprised at all that Jesse wanted his mark in such place. Raising his left hand, he placed it in Jesse’s shoulder, feeling the muscles twitch under his fingers.

Jesse embraced him with his arms, placing his hands on his hips to move him closer.

With his eyes pinned in Jesse’s, Hanzo raised his right hand and, slightly trembling, finally touched his soulmate’s skin.  
  
  


Jesse felt overwhelmed, a myriad of feelings that were not his own invading his mind and swelling in his chest. He closed his eyes, pressing against Hanzo’s forehead when he felt all his doubts, his fears, his self-loathe filling him. Tendrils of apprehension touched his thoughts, making him squeeze the archer harder between his arms.

After all they had been through, Hanzo still thought he could reject him.

Jesse opened his lips to speak when a wisp of something warm brushed his mind. It was such a small touch but so powerful that his breath stuttered. He focused on it, trying to feel it again. He felt Hanzo tense against him, the fingers in his chest digging into his skin, but Jesse ignored it, grasping the strand of gold and not letting it go. He pushed all the other feelings aside, their bond suddenly bright and glowing like the sun.

Jesse gasped under the powerful force of it. The bond, himself, were dazzling now, shining lively around and inside him. A radiant giddiness filled his head, his heart pounding like crazy in his chest with the realization of what it meant.

He placed his hands on Hanzo’s cheeks, looking down amazed at the archer’s apprehensive face. “You love me,” he whispered hoarsely. “Darlin’, you love me,” he said again. Hanzo’s eyes softened, nodding between his hands.

A bubbly chuckle escaped Jesse’s lips, seeing Hanzo smile back when he felt him through their bond. “You love me,” he repeated before lowering his head to kiss his soulmate.

  


When Jesse kissed him Hanzo felt his body set on fire. He had only experienced a one-sided bond until then and had expected it to be stronger when it was completed, but he hadn’t anticipated the explosion of pure love and emotion that filled his chest. His heart thrummed crazily in his chest, his thoughts going fuzzy in his head, a warmer feeling blossoming and expanding through his body filling the spaces and gaps that doubt and fear had occupied.

Jesse pressed a soft kiss to his eyebrow, the corner of his eye, the tip of his nose. The gestures so sweet and full of warm affection that Hanzo felt a little dazed. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed, dragging his fingers over Jesse’s hair towards his neck, holding him in place before kissing him again. He felt his heart burst in his chest, happiness swelling with a bright, warm feeling, wanting to to memorize the softness of his soulmate’s plush lips against his own, feeling a burst of joy filling him and making him giggle.

Hanzo finally broke the kiss, loving the little blush under Jesse’s eyes. He ran his thumb over the small smile that adorned his face, scratching softly his beard before looking down, curious to see the mark he had left on his chest.

Jesse looked down too, humming surprised after a while.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow, confused. “A tree?”

Jesse chuckled embarrassed, Hanzo feeling it reverberate against his chest.

“It’s home, I think. See, back in my youth we had this ugly tree in the garden. Let me finish!” Jesse said with another chuckle when Hanzo frowned at him. “It was tall and twisted. And ugly. The bark was rough, the leaves were sharp and pointy, and it flowered at the weirdest times.” Jesse smiled, his eyes glinting softly while sharing his memories. “But when it did, it had this fragrant, cute white flowers. And if you climbed to the highest branch and put a blanket there you could nap under the shadows in the afternoon, or look at the stars at night. I have traveled a lot since I left that home, and I have slept under a lot of trees. But none was as comfortable, or the shadow as fresh like that one.”

Hanzo bit his lips to tamper down the rush of feelings that threatened to overflow him, Jesse looking down at him knowingly.

“And y’know I love sunsets, darlin’,” Jesse said when Hanzo run a finger over the oranges that surrounded the purple and blue strange tree adorning his chest. “I guess the blueish color is self-explanatory though,” he joked, running his right hand down Hanzo’s covered tattooed arm and interlacing their fingers, holding his hand between their chests.

“You never explained what your mark means,” Jesse asked, trying to distract him from his thoughts. “You only said it wasn’t a mess, but I fail to see it otherwise.”

Hanzo finally looked at him, huffing. “It is not a mess, Jesse.” He smirked satisfied when he felt Jesse’s delight when he used his name. “It is… Vividly twirly.” He pinched Jesse's side when he laughed at his extravagant explanation.

“You are loud. All over the place. You are fast with your reactions, sometimes your mouth is even quicker than your gun. You are… you are _alive._ ” Hanzo frowned frustrated, wanting to express his thoughts with the right words and failing. “I guess it is not easy to graphically represent a personality, and I am sorry if it seems like a mess to you,” he said, “but it makes sense to me.”

He smirked when a sudden idea popped in his head. “It is my mess and I am keeping it, whether you like it or not.”

Hanzo preened proudly when Jesse’s smile grew bigger.

They looked tensely to their side when, with a small explosion and surrounded by blue smoke, the dragons appeared out of nothing. Their eyes were shining, small waves of lights running over their entangled bodies. The mane of their heads standing up with the static ruined their attempted menacing pose though.

Hanzo felt Jesse’s trembling shoulder under his hand, glancing at him sideways to check that he was holding down his laugh.

 _We are the things you see out of the corner of your eye_ , Udon said creepily, showing them his small fangs.

 _You are bonded to us too, cowboy. And we are watching you,_ Soba added, pointing at Jesse two small claws before they disappeared into the thin air with another explosion.

They burst laughing after a few seconds, holding each other until their giggles calmed down.

“That is the best shovel talk I have ever received,” Jesse said, his lips pressed against his hairline.

Jesse looked affectionately at Hanzo, running his fingers over the short hair of his undercut and snatching carefully the tie that kept his hair in a bun. He sighed satisfied when it fell down like a black cascade, Hanzo half-closing his eyes when Jesse softly caressed it.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a long damn time, sweetheart,” he murmured before a wicked grin spread his lips. “Y’know, sex is goin’ to be interestin’.”

Hanzo reeled back, a mocking frown twisting his face. “Soba!”

Jesse laughed again, tightening his arms around him. Hanzo shoved his face against his neck, wallowing in his warm smell and smiling against his skin.

“So… Am I your mess?” Jesse murmured when he stopped laughing.

Hanzo nodded.

“And you’re keepin’ me?” Hanzo nodded again, feeling Jesse’s happiness invade their bond.

“You don’t know how much I love hearin’ that, darlin’,” Jesse whispered against his lips.

Hanzo hummed. “I think I get an idea. Though I am sorry it took me so long,” he responded.

Jesse shook his head, bumping his nose against his. Hanzo stared, Jesse’s face a blur being so close, dragging his hand back to his soft hair before breaking the small distance that separated them, kissing his soulmate again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is all! <3 Sorry it took me so long, I hope the wait was worth it.
> 
> It could have been better? Yes. could have been worse? never doubt it xD still, I'm satisfied with how it came up, I loved writting the noodles and their interactions! and of course, these two idiots in love <3
> 
> Thanks to all who commented and left kudos, I'm very happy you read and liked it :D

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think? :)


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